The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The D & D Vortex (2019)
Kaley Cuoco: Penny Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Raj Koothrappali : Hey, do you guys want to read my fan fiction mash-up, "Captain Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"?
Penny Hofstadter : Nope.
Leonard Hofstadter , Howard Wolowitz : No.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Certainly not.
Raj Koothrappali : You don't even know what it's about.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Is it about a superhero who finds her voice by doing stand-up?
Raj Koothrappali : That's so much better than what I had. Mine is just a Jewish girl that flies.
Howard Wolowitz : I'd read that.
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Penny Hofstadter : Hey, how was your lecture?
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, it was so good. I-I-I mean, it-it started great, and then the, the middle was great, and then ending was, like...
[pantomiming an explosion]
Leonard Hofstadter : So great.
Penny Hofstadter : Leonard, if you went to House of Pies again, just say it.
Leonard Hofstadter : W-w-wait, if you think I'm lying, why do you think I'm eating pies? Why don't you think I'm... having an affair?
Penny Hofstadter : Listen, i-it's fine, just next time, bring me a slice.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Kevin Smith was there, and-and, uh, this really tall guy named Kareem.
Penny Hofstadter : Wait, wait, K-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
Leonard Hofstadter : I don't know, it was, uh, Kareem something Jabbar. How do you know him?
Penny Hofstadter : How do you *not* know him?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, I know him now 'cause he was there.
Penny Hofstadter : Wow. That is so cool.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, a-and that, uh, the guy who played the werewolf on-on "True Blood", he was there.
Penny Hofstadter : What? Joe Manganiello?
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, yeah.
Penny Hofstadter : From "Magic Mike"?
Leonard Hofstadter : What's that?
Penny Hofstadter : [searching on her phone] Okay, okay. Did he look... like this?
Leonard Hofstadter : He had his clothes on, but yeah.
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Sheldon Cooper : Guys, guys, Wil Wheaton hosts a secret celebrity D&D game.
Leonard Hofstadter : How do you know?
Raj Koothrappali : Who was there?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Why are you damp?
Sheldon Cooper : I was trying to peek in Wil's window, and he turned the sprinklers on.
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, that means they must be really famous.
Sheldon Cooper : I'm almost positive I heard William Shatner.
Raj Koothrappali : I wonder who else is playing.
Leonard Hofstadter : I-I bet we can use graph theory to determine who Wil knows and who is likely to play D&D.
Howard Wolowitz : Yes.
Leonard Hofstadter : [hurrying over to a white board] Okay, obviously he's connected to the whole "Next Gen" cast.
Penny Hofstadter : So this is the rest of our night, huh?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, no. This is the rest of our lives.
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Leonard Hofstadter : And Josh Brolin gets you to every Avenger.
Howard Wolowitz : [on his phone] Kevin Smith's in this article about celebrities who play D&D.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, a-and he was on Wil's podcast, so they know each other.
Raj Koothrappali : G-Go on his Instagram, see if you can find anything.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, he-he posted something an hour ago: "#GameNight".
Sheldon Cooper : That looks like Wil's house.
Howard Wolowitz : William Shatner, Kevin Smith. Who else could be there?
Leonard Hofstadter : Do you see what I see over his shoulder?
Howard Wolowitz : [looking closer] Is that a ghost?
Raj Koothrappali : I think it's Stuart.
Sheldon Cooper : That is Stuart. What-what's he doing there?
Raj Koothrappali : Maybe he died in Wil's house and he can't leave until he solves his own murder.
Leonard Hofstadter : Why would Wil invite Stuart and not us?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [watching with Amy and Penny] I know the answer.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah. We all know the answer.
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Leonard Hofstadter : If you really want to know, I'll tell you where I was. I was at Wil's D&D game, but that's all I can say.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, fun. Were there famous people there?
Leonard Hofstadter : Ah, sorry, I-I-I can't tell you that. Okay, well, yes, but I-I-I-I can't tell you who. Well, no, I-I can tell you Shatner, but that's only because you already knew that one.
Penny Hofstadter : Well, I'm glad you had fun.
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Leonard Hofstadter : I wish I could tell you who else was there. I can't, I promised.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, if it makes you feel better, I couldn't care less.
Leonard Hofstadter : That's true, you don't care, so there's no harm in telling you.
Penny Hofstadter : Okay, you really don't have to.
Leonard Hofstadter : All right, I'll tell you.
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Penny Hofstadter : I can't believe you met Joe Manganiello. Is he nice?
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, he's so nice. I-I-I rolled my dice underneath the couch, and he just lifted it up, one hand.
Penny Hofstadter : [daydreamily] Oh, I-I bet he did.
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Penny Hofstadter : Okay, can you guys keep a secret?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Yeah.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Sure.
Penny Hofstadter : Good, 'cause I can't. Leonard played "Dungeons & Dragons" with the hot guy from "Magic Mike".
Bernadette Rostenkowski : I never got to see that movie.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Seriously?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Yeah, Howie made us leave as soon as he realized it wasn't about magic.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Well, I have seen that movie one or seven times, and trust me, it is magic. Which guy?
Penny Hofstadter : [showing them on her phone] That one.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [taking the phone] Abracadabra.
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Penny Hofstadter : Hey, you know what was fun? That time we played "Dungeons & Dragons".
Amy Farrah Fowler : That was fun. We should play that more.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [still looking at Joe's picture] Sorry, what, now?
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Wil Wheaton : Hey, what are you guys doing here?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, I, uh, think Sheldon might have left something.
Wil Wheaton : Oh, you mean besides his lunch?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [exaggerated laughter] You are so funny, Wil.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh, we were just talking about how funny you are.
Wil Wheaton : Yeah, Leonard told you, didn't he?
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Yup.
Penny Hofstadter : Yeah.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Mm-hmm.
Wil Wheaton : It's Manganiello?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Uh-huh.
Bernadette Rostenkowski , Penny Hofstadter : Mm-hmm.
Wil Wheaton : Feel good about yourselves?
Penny Hofstadter : Nope.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : No.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Yeah.
[seeing the others' looks]
Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, we're going with no? No.
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Penny Hofstadter : Yeah, let's teach that ogre what my broad sword tastes like.
William Shatner : I like your moxie.
Penny Hofstadter : Aw, and I like your grandpa words..