- Meg Griffin: Mom, you're really going to Boston? I didn't even think you liked baseball.
- Lois Griffin: Oh I'm not going for baseball. I'm going for shopping, the hotel spa, and two days being away from you life sucking turds.
- Peter Griffin: Well, ever since I was little, I was always the fat, uncoordinated kid that nobody wanted on their team, and I was excited that for one weekend if I could just step on that field and get a hit at Fenway Park, I could erase all that and feel like a champ for the first time in my life. But I'm not a champ, I'm a fat loser. No wonder nobody ever picked me.
- Peter Griffin: Kicked out? I'm totally screwed, like those poor guys who had to come up with a new ad campaign for Subway.