- Amy Sykes: Well, we're do our best, but we're over 30.
- Andy Flynn: Well, no one would ever know. Police work keeps you young. Look at my wife.
- Mike Tao: Andy, FYI... "directing jail" means no one would hire Walsh to direct.
- Andy Flynn: You honestly think we weren't smart enough to figure that out?
- Dr. Fernando Morales: Uh, who's Craig Curtis?
- Andy Flynn: Who's Craig Curtis?
- Louie Provenza: Former Heisman Trophy winner, first round draft pick.
- Dr. Fernando Morales: Oh. Well, it's not like he was nominated for an Oscar.
- Erik Walsh: But... but what if you're wrong? What if I'm completely innocent?
- Mike Tao: Then we'll apologize. We always do that when we're wrong.
- Amy Sykes: I guess the cat's out of the bag.
- Andy Flynn: Out of the bag? It was just run over by an 18-wheeler.
- Camila Paige: [to Wes Nolan] Let me guess. You struck out with Denver, Miami, and Houston, so you decided to take a swing at Highland Park?
- Sharon Raydor: He retired. He started a chain of restaurants, didn't he?
- Andy Flynn: Oh, yeah. Um, Tackles! Huge TVs, big burgers, cute girls. Tasteless... the way they dress those waitresses there.
- Dr. Fernando Morales: There's a reason they call them "breastaurants."
- Louie Provenza: Ah, keep on eye on Barney Fife here, if you would, in case he decides to walk off with some souvenirs.
- Jerry Pearl: [Just as the Lt. Flynn usually says] Okay, look. Did I make mistakes as a husband? Sure. Could I have been more attentive? Absolutely. Should I have slept with so many of her friends? Probably not.