Ozark (TV Series)

Tonight We Improvise (2017)

Jason Bateman: Martin 'Marty' Byrde

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Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Martin 'Marty' Byrde : [narrating]  Okay. Money Laundering 101. Say you come across a suitcase with five million bucks in it. What would you buy? A yacht? A mansion? A sports car? Sorry. The IRS won't let you buy anything of value with it. So you better get that money into the banking system. But here's the problem. That dirty money is too clean. Looks like it just came out of a bank vault. You gotta age it up. Crumple it. Drag it through the dirt. Run it over with your car. Anything to make it look like it's been around the block.

  Martin 'Marty' Byrde : Next, you need a cash business. Something pleasant and joyful with books that are easily manipulated. No credit card receipts, etcetera. You mix the five million with the cash from the joyful business. That mixture goes from an American bank to a bank from any country that doesn't have to listen to the IRS. It then goes into a standard checking account and voila. All you need is access to one of over three million terminals, because your work is done. Your money's clean. It's as legitimate as anybody else's.

• Wendy Byrde : I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can inflate construction costs and launder money through it. And quite frankly, I don't give a shit if you like it or not. 'Cause I feel pretty good about it. It's a good idea, and I did it for our family. What'd you do today - for our family?

  Martin 'Marty' Byrde : Bought a strip club.

• Charlotte Byrde : It's 2017 Dad, it's not okay to slut shame.

  Martin 'Marty' Byrde : Well it's also not okay to wear Jonah's shorts.