The Orville (TV Series)
Old Wounds (2017)
Victor Garber: Admiral Halsey
Photos
Quotes
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Admiral Halsey : I have good news. There's a ship available. It's a mid-level craft. The USS Orville. It's not exactly a heavy cruiser, but it is an exploratory vessel. And we're offering you command.
Ed Mercer : You're kidding.
Admiral Halsey : Honestly, we would have offered you a command earlier, but you haven't really inspired anyone with all that much confidence this past year.
Ed Mercer : [taking something off the desk as he talks] I know. I ha... I've had some personal stuff that's been going on. It's not really worth getting into. Can I have one of these mints?
Admiral Halsey : Those are marbles.
[having already put it in his mouth, Ed spits it back into the bowl]
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Admiral Halsey : Now, the Orville has a nearly-full crew complement. Her previous captain retired this month. But she's still short a helmsman and a first officer. We're waiting for an XO to become available.
Ed Mercer : Well, you know, I can get you the best helmsman in the fleet.
Admiral Halsey : You mean... Lieutenant Malloy. I'm aware you two are friends.
Ed Mercer : Look, I... I know Gordon has his issues, but we all know there's nobody who can drive a starship like him.
Admiral Halsey : Didn't he once draw a penis on the main viewing screen of outpost T85?
Ed Mercer : He's drawn a lot of penises on a lot of things, but, Admiral, if you were caught in an ion storm, who would you want at the helm?
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Admiral Halsey : Ed, calm down and be professional about this.
Ed Mercer : Oh, please, there is nothing at all professional about this situation. Okay, this is my ex-wife, who I have not seen since my divorce a year ago after I walked in on her banging a Retepsian.
Admiral Halsey : I know this isn't ideal, but she's the only qualified XO available. And the staff profile compatibility program indicated your skill sets complement hers.
Ed Mercer : Oh, it did? See if your compatibility program can get blue out of a white lampshade.