Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV Series)

Two Sane Guys Doing Normal Things (2016)

Samuel Barnett: Dirk Gently

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Quotes 

• Todd : [explaining plot]  More than 100 years ago, a man named Zachariah Webb built a machine that broke and went to the future where these tattooed wackos found it and used it to swap souls. They swapped Lydia with a corgi to use as leverage to stop Patrick Spring, who is actually also Zachariah Webb having jumped through time to get his machine back.

  Estevez : [interrupting]  I hate everything about this right now.

  Todd : In 2002, after the Men of the Machine killed his wife, Patrick Spring, who was a fake identity created to be the son of Edgar Spring, who is actually Zachariah Webb, jumped forward in time to last week, destroyed the Men of the Machine, and then went to the Perriman Grand to confront his future self, which led to the young Patrick Spring accidentally killing old Patrick Spring when a kitten went off and set off a shark explosion.

  Dirk Gently : [gives thumbs up] 

  Farah Black : Wait. So *that's* what happened?

  Dirk Gently : Fairly straightforward, I think.

• Dirk Gently : Ah see, you also knew a thing. I didn't lie to you anymore than you lied to Farah.

  Todd : Yes you did.

  Dirk Gently : I would describe it as strategic no truthing.

• Estevez : I want answers. Talk!

  Dirk Gently : Okay. So, 100 years ago-...

  Estevez : All right, I'm gonna need you to shut up with that shit right now.

  Dirk Gently : I thought you said you wanted answers.

  Estevez : I want reality! I want *my* reality back!

• Estevez : You gonna stay with us?

  Dirk Gently : What? You mean, like, the living people?

  Estevez : Yeah.

  Dirk Gently : Ideally, yes, but you know how things are when you've got the cereal bowl flour exchanged.

  Estevez : Say what?

  Dirk Gently : There's a lot of wording happening should me no talk good 'cause blood all go