Lucifer (TV Series)
Trip to Stabby Town (2016)
Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar
Photos
Quotes
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Charlotte : If you didn't want the blade found, you shouldn't have left it in a hole in the ground!
Lucifer Morningstar : A filled-in hole in the middle of nowhere, which no one would've possibly found if not for you.
Charlotte : Yes. Well... there's that.
Lucifer Morningstar : Besides, where else am I gonna hide it? Lux? You know how many people traipse through there each week?
Charlotte : Well, I don't know. Your bedroom, then.
Lucifer Morningstar : Worse.
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Lucifer Morningstar : And so there we were, the detective and I, standing in her kitchen, and... she made me... a sandwich.
[Looks at the doctor]
Lucifer Morningstar : I believe this is the part where you tell me it's much more than just a sandwich. For example... maybe it was a gesture of intimacy. You know, the slices of bread representing, perhaps, the detective's trust?
[Thinks]
Lucifer Morningstar : Or... was it a mistrustful sandwich? I... Doctor, please, what delicious message was she sending me?
Linda Martin : What about Hitler?
Lucifer Morningstar : The sandwich is Hitler?
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Ella Lopez : The whole point of a favor is to do it for free, okay? And then you just trust the love will come back to you somehow. Favors are about faith.
Lucifer Morningstar : Ugh. Please don't ruin favors for me.
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Charlotte : I was getting bored with my mate and offspring, so I thought I'd dive into my employment. Not that hard once you read the law books.
Lucifer Morningstar : What law books?
Charlotte : Well, all of them.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Glad to see you're hard at work.
Ella Lopez : You know, studies show that the brain does some of its best work when it's not trying. That's why great ideas come in the shower.
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Linda Martin : Things were much less complicated when I thought you were just another average delusional patient with a complicated family.
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, I've never been average, Linda. Mentally, physically... And as you know... sexually.
Linda Martin : Oh, my God. I had sex with the Devil.
Lucifer Morningstar : Many, many times. And you're welcome.
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Ella Lopez : You need a favor?
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, your scientific expertise on a discreet matter.
Ella Lopez : Mm. Paternity test?
Lucifer Morningstar : What? Do I look like someone who'd be so irresponsible?
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Ella Lopez : You need a favor?
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, your scientific expertise on a discreet matter.
Ella Lopez : Paternity test?
Lucifer Morningstar : What? Do I look like someone who'd be so irresponsible?
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Lucifer Morningstar : So, no sign of the murder weapon? Are you sure? Right. Nothing left for us to do here then, I suppose.
Chloe Decker : Except for figuring out how six people were killed.
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Ella Lopez : Studies show that the brain does some of its best work when it's not trying. That's why great ideas come in the shower.
Lucifer Morningstar : For me, it's usually women.
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Dan Espinoza : My entire life imploded because of you!
Lucifer Morningstar : What?
Dan Espinoza : My marriage!
[Swings knife]
Dan Espinoza : My job!
[Swings again]
Dan Espinoza : My snacks!
Lucifer Morningstar : What?
Dan Espinoza : I know you ate my pudding!
Lucifer Morningstar : You're really going to smite me over a tub of sweetened goo?
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Linda Martin : The Angel of Death? Is he... uh, is he another one of your brothers?
Lucifer Morningstar : Sister, actually.
Linda Martin : The Angel of Death is a chick?
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, I sort of wish we were back to talking in metaphors.
Linda Martin : That makes two of us.
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Lucifer Morningstar : The guru with the doo-doo juju has been picked up.
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Jenson Glory : Carbs are the Devil's spawn, man.
Lucifer Morningstar : Don't blame your weaknesses on me.
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Corrina Huff : Maddie was a friend. The person who introduced me to the Glory Way. God, I can't believe that she's dead.
Chloe Decker : I'm sorry. The glory what?
Lucifer Morningstar : The glory hole.
Corrina Huff : The Glory *Way*.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Speak of the Devil's mum.
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Charlotte : I want my family back.
Lucifer Morningstar : I'm afraid that's not possible.
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Linda Martin : Okay, can we go back to the Angel of Death? Is he... uh, is he another one of your brothers?
Lucifer Morningstar : Sister, actually.
Linda Martin : The Angel of Death is a chick?
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Lucifer Morningstar : Detective Douche... Daniel. Dan. Why don't you put down the knife, hmm? Bury the proverbial hatchet and all that? I mean, I know we've had our differences in the past, but we're friends now, right?
Dan Espinoza : You ruined my marriage.
Lucifer Morningstar : I'll take that as a no.