Galavant (TV Series)

Do the D'DEW (2016)

Joshua Sasse: Galavant

Quotes 

• [the heroes lead an army of zombies] 

  Galavant : They're basically useless, aren't they?

  Sid : Yeah, pretty much. Although I have noticed they are quite drawn to you, sir. Maybe it's 'cause you were briefly dead.

  Galavant : Oh, yes. And why is that, Sid? Why was I briefly dead?

  Sid : I told you how bad I feel about that! Are you ever gonna let it go?

  Galavant : Oh, you mean like when you let go of the sword and it flew through the air, sticking into my chest, temporarily killing me?

  Sid : So I'll take that as a "no" then.

• King Richard : I need your advice. I really want to kiss Roberta and stuff, and I think the timing is right, but did she say she likes me?

  Galavant : Get to the point.

  King Richard : Do I ask her? Do I just grab her and kiss her? Sneak up behind her in dark clothing and shout, "Boo!" and kiss her when she's screaming? What?

  Galavant : Look, I would love to help you. I've sort of got more important things to do here, but... no, no, definitely don't do the "boo" version. It's sort of frowned upon. Okay? Got to go.

  King Richard : No "boo" version. Good to know.

• Galavant : I came back from the dead for love.

• King Richard : Well, if you'll excuse us, my girlfriend and I are gonna go inside and, um... have brunch.

  [as they walk into the castle, Roberta excitedly turns back to Sid and Galavant] 

  Roberta : We're not having brunch.

  Galavant : Ohhh. Kill me.

• Galavant : I'm gonna fail! I'm gonna fail. And Isabella's gonna die thinking I don't love her. Which isn't true. I love her to the very fiber of my being. She'll never know.

• Galavant : Saddle up. It's time for battle.

  King Richard : And I am ready for war. Not just to sit in a comfy chair and watch up on a hill while eating cucumber sandwiches - oh, that was delightful. No, I am actually ready to stand next to you and fight.

  Galavant : Sounds like you found your manhood, Richard.

  King Richard : Bobbie found it. A bunch of times, if you know what I'm saying. Huh?

  Galavant : Unfortunately I do.

  [Richard smacks Galavant's shoulder] 

  King Richard : Ow! That's really... thick armor.

• Galavant : Mother always said she never knew when I was joking. Oh, I *hate* it when mother is right!

• King Richard : Wow, Valencia. Seems like just yesterday I was the worst tyrant this land has ever seen. Life is weird!

  Galavant : Yeah, cuckoo-bananas.