The Death of Stalin (2017)
Simon Russell Beale: Lavrenti Beria
Photos
Quotes
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Vasily Stalin : I want to make a speech at my father's funeral
Lavrenti Beria : Comrade Malenkov, your view?
Georgy Malenkov : Well, I think, um... it can be... no problem.
Nikita Khrushchev : Technically yes, but practically...
Lavrenti Beria : There are programmatic complications...
Georgy Malenkov : I think I misspoke when I said "No problem." What I meant was, "No, problem."
[Everyone in the room looks confused]
Georgy Malenkov : Ignore me.
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Lavrenti Beria : [hands an execution warrant to an NKVD officer] Shoot her before him, but make sure he sees it.
[hands a second warrant to another officer]
Lavrenti Beria : Oh, and this one, kill him, take him to his church and dump him in the pulpit.
[hands the remaining warrants to a third officer]
Lavrenti Beria : The rest I leave up to you.
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Lavrenti Beria : It's lucky we both now live in the new Soviet Union or you and your wife and your family would be a pile of dust on the floor of a crematorium toilet.
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Nikita Khrushchev : What was the name of the - that woman who gave evidence against the doctors?
Georgy Malenkov : Timashuk.
Lavrenti Beria : Yes. She's got everything we require for the situation. The location of all the remaining doctors in the Moscow area, a proven desire to survive and a talent for fellatio.
Anastas Mikoyan : Yeah, right, she gets my vote.
Nicolai Bulganin : Good. Let her find us some doctors.
Anastas Mikoyan : Yeah, and if it goes badly, we pin it all on Lady Suck Suck.
Kaganovich : Then we shoot her.
Georgy Malenkov : You see? We're better as a committee.
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Nikita Khrushchev : Which doctor have you called?
Georgy Malenkov : Oh, well...
Lavrenti Beria : The subject's currently under discussion.
Georgy Malenkov : As acting General Secretary, I think that, well, the Committee should decide.
Nikita Khrushchev : The Committee? But our *actual* General Secretary is lying in a puddle of indignity! I think he's saying, "get me a doctor now!"
Georgy Malenkov : No, I-I don't agree. I think we should wait until we're quorate.
Nikita Khrushchev : Quorate? The room is only 75% *conscious*!
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[Zhukov punches Beria]
Georgy Zhukov : Want a job done properly, you call the army. Take his belt off. It's hard to run away with your pants falling down.
Nikita Khrushchev : [to Malenkov] If you want to talk to General Zhukov, now's your opportunity.
Georgy Zhukov : Spit it out, Georgy. Staging a coup here.
Georgy Malenkov : ...He's got a knife by his ankle.
Lavrenti Beria : You're a disgrace!
Lazar Kaganovich : Give his head a good kicking. Make you feel better.
Vyacheslav Molotov : All in good time.
Lavrenti Beria : Oh, I'm gonna enjoy peeling the skin from your self-satisfied face.
Georgy Zhukov : [holds up the little knife and scoffs] Not with that, you won't.
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Vasily Stalin : I will not be silent...!
Lavrenti Beria : [looks him in the eye and whispers] I know about the hockey team.
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Nikita Khrushchev : You are accused of using your position as Minister of the Interior to plot against the Soviet Union...
Zhukov's Chief of Staff : Traitor!
Nikita Khrushchev : with the goal of forwarding the interests of foreign powers...
Lavrenti Beria : Foreign powers? From where, the fucking moon?
Nikita Khrushchev : You are also accused of three hundred and forty-seven counts of rape, of sexual deviancy and bourgeois immorality, and acts of perversion with children as young as seven years old!
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Lavrenti Beria : [standing over Stalin's unconscious body] Have a long sleep, old man. I'll take it from here.
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Lavrenti Beria : Are you wearing a corset?
Georgy Malenkov : It's a girdle. And I have a bad back. It's functional. It's not cosmetic.
Lavrenti Beria : You wear it well.
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Lavrenti Beria : It smells like a Baku Pisshouse in here.
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NKVD Officer Kobulov : Some women will do anything to get their husbands released.
Lavrenti Beria : Yep, and she did everything. I thank the Union for bringing me so many devoted wives who fuck like sewing machines.
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Lavrenti Beria : Take the papers! Take them or I'll cut your eyes out one at a time so you can watch it happening!
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Lavrenti Beria : Is there any cheese in this building?
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Georgy Malenkov : He's irreplaceable. How can we possibly - ? I - we must think of the people. As Acting General Secretary I must step up. I must - I must take his place while he's - on the floor.
Lavrenti Beria : You just said he's irreplaceable.
Georgy Malenkov : Irreplaceable - take his place, as in assembling the Central Committee, of course.
Lavrenti Beria : Good. I was testing you. Get used to that sort of challenge.
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Lavrenti Beria : Stalin destroyed the status quo.
Georgy Malenkov : Yes.
Lavrenti Beria : And he built a new one.
Georgy Malenkov : Yes.
Lavrenti Beria : The changes he made were both radical and popular.
Georgy Malenkov : Liberalizations would be popular.
Lavrenti Beria : Radical. Radical.
Georgy Malenkov : And popular.
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Svetlana Stalin : Why should I trust you?
Lavrenti Beria : Because I'm the only one who's telling you. Trust no-one.
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Lavrenti Beria : [handcuffed to a pipe in a men's restroom] Is this magisterial enough for you all? This charade? This is a lavatory!
Anastas Mikoyan : Well, you should feel at home then, shouldn't you, you little coil of shit?
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Lavrenti Beria : Please don't shoot me!
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Lavrenti Beria : Vasily! I sometimes wonder if he's meant for this World.
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Lavrenti Beria : Courage! Courage, Little Bird!
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Lavrenti Beria : You spineless rat! You're just a cadaver we propped up in a corset.
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Lavrenti Beria : You know what I'm doing? I'm offering you and that bloated soak my protection.
Svetlana Stalin : We are not children!
[Tarasov emerges from Vasily's room, looking grim]
Vasily Stalin : [from inside] You are a real listener, thank you...!
Svetlana Stalin : ...I am not a child.
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[an NKVD officer appears with a file folder]
Georgy Malenkov : I will deal with whatever horseshit you have, presently!
Lavrenti Beria : Actually, I'd like you to see this.
Georgy Malenkov : [to the officer] Come on through.
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Lavrenti Beria : [standing up and collecting his papers] I will oversee the releases.
Lavrenti Beria : You've loosened the Union's great corset.
[Malenkov stares at Beria angrily]
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Lavrenti Beria : False Narrative!
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Lavrenti Beria : Stalin is Dead!
Polina Molotova : Our Stalin?
Lavrenti Beria : No, your Stalin!
[Beria giggles, she weeps]