- [Blaine offers Liv a piece of candy]
- Blaine DeBeers: [Blaine chuckles] Chocolate?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Rain check.
- Blaine DeBeers: [Blaine unwraps the candy to put in his own mouth] Oh, forgot. Taste buds as kaputski as the rest of you. Ah... mmm.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Blaine continues moaning with the candy in his mouth] Are you eating that or impregnating it?
- [Ravi and Liv show up at the crime scene of a man crushed by a failed jack under a car]
- Clive Babineaux: Watch out for the blood.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: This is why I pay someone to fix my car.
- [Liv looks at the paintings inside of Byron Thistlewaite's house]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: You do all of these paint by numbers, or you have a slow nephew or something?
- Byron Thistlewaite: No, I found them at a gallery.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Were they in the garbage?
- [Liv returns late to the lab speaking to Ravi]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Sorry. I would've been back sooner but we got stuck behind an Asian driver.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Hey, Archie Bunker. I'm of Asian descent.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Great. Explain to your people how turn signals work.
- [Ravi freezes]
- [Liv talks to Clive while an African male gang member keeps trying to get her attention at the police precinct]
- Gang Member: Hey, Snowflake. You look like you could use a little color in you, you know what I'm saying?
- Clive Babineaux: Sir. Unless you want to spend the night in the cell with Aryan Knights of the New Confederacy, you're gonna need to zip it.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Thanks, Clive. You're one of the good ones.
- Clive Babineaux: [Clive slowly stands up from his chair taking Liv's comment as a racial slur] I'm gonna go get myself a coffee and try very hard to forget that you said that.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Clive walks off] What? Oh, it was a compliment.
- [Blaine interviews a couple at a funeral home, Blaine's new place of business]
- Blaine DeBeers: Death. I can't sugarcoat it. This won't be easy. But I'm here to make the process... What's the word? Palatable. It's what I do. You'd be hard-pressed to find anyone with more experience. I bet ever since you got the news, you've been walking around like a zombie, am I right? Yeah. I thought so. Just know this. My number-one priority is your piece of mind. I never stop thinking about it. So, let's take this journey together. What do you say? Hmm?
- [the couple look at each other, as Blaine shakes the hands of the couple]
- [first lines]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv walks up to her brother's hospital bed, narrating] Time heals all wounds. Time heals all wounds.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv sits on the bed beside her brother Evan who's asleep] Hey, buddy.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [narrating] Another surgery to remove shrapnel. Three months. Three surgeries.
- Eva Moore: [Eva Moore walks into the room] You need to leave. Right now.
- [Liv's brother Evan starts to wake up while in the hospital bed]
- Evan: [mumbles] Liv...
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Hey. I'm here.
- Evan: [mumbles again] Go away. Don't come back. I don't ever want to see you again.
- [Liv leaves the hospital after visiting her brother who had just told her to never see him again]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [narrating] I couldn't have given Evan my blood even if I had been willing to turn him into a zombie. The second some nurse took my pulse and my temperature, they would've quarantined me. Maybe it's better this way. I'm radioactive. That I repel the people I love. Keep things simple. Harden yourself, Liv. You have no more family. You're a monster. Act like one.
- [Liv walks pass the mouse cage of New Hope in the lab]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Have you noticed that Final Hope hates me?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Her name is New Hope, not Final Hope. You Know this. If I wanted to give her a depressing name, I would've gone with Phantom Menace. And she doesn't hate you, she just feels like you don't put enough energy into the relationship. And she is not gonna let you be a bit player in your grand drama. At least that's what she insinuated to me. Sorry, New Hope. I can't be trusted with secrets.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: I am serious about this.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi sighs] I think someone is feeling sorry for herself.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Who, me? Or...
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Oh, you.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Well, I do feel sorry for myself. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong about Final Hope. She looks traumatized every time I get close to her cage.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Well, maybe it's the cannibalism. She is squeamish.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Great. I'm grossing out a rat.
- [Liv swears to never have interpersonal relationships again]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Until I'm human again no more interpersonal relationships. I am all business. I'm one of the Riders of the apocalypse, leaving pestilence and misery in my wake.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: I take it drinks with the new roommate didn't go well.
- [Clive finds Liv in the police precinct snoring away on the couch]
- Clive Babineaux: Liv. Liv!
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv gasps] What, already?
- Clive Babineaux: Late night?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Suddenly you're Matlock?
- Clive Babineaux: Neighbor of the deceased called the tip line, left an unintelligible message. I was gonna run it down. Any visions yet?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Yeah. I got a vision of you leaving me the hell alone, so I can catch some shut-eye.
- Clive Babineaux: Fine. I'll handle this solo. You take care of that hangover.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Oh, brush the sand out of your crack and relax. I'm just busting your chops, flatfoot.
- [Clive freezes, staring back]
- [Liv and Clive get out of the police car, as Liv yells at a couple teenage skateboarders rolling by on the sidewalk]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv yells] Turn your hat around, punk. Show some respect!
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Clive stares at Liv] What? Was he crouching behind home plate at Yankee stadium?
- [Liv meets the anonymous phone lead, Byron Thistlewaite, as Liv reads his T-shirt]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: 'T-shirts Are Passé'? I don't get it. You're wearing a T-shirt.
- Byron Thistlewaite: It's meant to be ironic. It's a joke.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Good one.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Byron chuckles] Your T-shirt is stupid. That's meant to be literal.
- [Byron and Clive both get silent]
- [Byron Thistlewaite tells Liv and Clive about the local teenager that terrorizes the neighborhood]
- Byron Thistlewaite: This... This kid, he's, like, the terror of the neighborhood.
- Clive Babineaux: What kid?
- Byron Thistlewaite: Rodney Ricks. Okay, he's from a couple blocks over. He's a real thug.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv sits forward] He's a teenager. Not a bear. Pretend you got a pair and speak up, son.
- [Liv for the first time visits Blaine at his place of business at the funeral home]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Oh, the humanity.
- Blaine DeBeers: [Blaine chuckles] You see anything you like?
- Blaine DeBeers: [surrounded by coffins] It's so rare the dead get to choose. I got one with a breakaway lid that's a real-time saver for today's zombie looking to make that classic-hand-shooting-up-through-the-dirt big entrance.
- [Blaine questions Liv about why she's still pretending to be a cop]
- Blaine DeBeers: I'm curious. Why? Why are you still suiting up for Team Z? The uniform sucks. Morale is, let's be honest, consistently low. Don't tell me you've actually developed a taste for brains.
- Blaine DeBeers: [Liv remains silent] Hold the phone! You dig it. You get off on being a hero, don't you?
- Blaine DeBeers: [Blaine begins imitating actor, Jimmy Stewart] Oh, would you... Would you look at that. That's a... That's a crime-solving zombie. Roger, get in here! Why, she's a credit to her species. Why can't they all be like her?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Blaine laughs] It's not a choice.
- [Blaine tells Liv he has no reason to help her find a cure for the zombie disease]
- Blaine DeBeers: Why would I want to help? I'm human. I got a thriving business. I just learned I've been pre-approved for a Best Buy card. I've gone legit. Put my criminal ways behind me.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: We're not sure if your cure is permanent. The first batch killed the test rat inside of two days.
- Blaine DeBeers: And which batch did you shoot me up with?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv smiles] The second.
- [Liv tells Clive that the teenager boy, Rodney Ricks is guilty]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: They brought in that Rodney Ricks kid who killed Wendell.
- Clive Babineaux: He did it? You had a vision?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: No! Good God, Lemon, patience! That kid screams guilty. He's wearing makeup, and his pants are hanging so low, they look like a bra for his ass.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv sighs] Obama.
- [Liv and Clive begin questioning Rodney Ricks in the interrogation room]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: I'm warning you, son. A bunch of good men didn't die face-down in the muck so you could paint your face like a $2 whore.
- Clive Babineaux: I think what she means to say is, did you or did you not threaten Mr. Gale?
- [Clive asks Rodney Ricks to put his foot up on the table in the interrogation room]
- Rodney Ricks: [Rodney puts it up to Clive] You know, if we were in Baghdad, this would be like me flipping you off.
- Rodney Ricks: [Rodney looks at Liv] Should I put the other one up here, too?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Does this look like your gynecologist office?
- [Liv bumps into the nerdy Jimmy Hahn in the police precinct]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Did they find the guy who did that to your hair, or is he still at large?
- Clive Babineaux: Jimmy. Jimmy. Hey, never mind her. There are some bear claws in the break room. Why don't you take mine?
- Jimmy Hahn: I'm taking hers, too.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Oh, you'll lose a hand!
- Jimmy Hahn: I'm not scared of you!
- [Clive and Liv pay a visit to Byron Thistlewaite's home to question him about his missing dog]
- Clive Babineaux: Evening, Mr. Thistlewaite. We had a few more...
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv quickly interrupts Clive] Where's your dog, Byron?
- Byron Thistlewaite: Uh...
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: 'Uh. Uh. Uh.' It's a simple question. Don't stall for time. Don't invent a story. Produce the dog.
- Byron Thistlewaite: [Byron begins calling for his dog] Lana! Come here, girl.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [the dog comes running from around the corner as Liv exhales] Hmm. As we suspected... You have a dog. That's just a little game we play called, 'Does the person we're questioning have a dog?'
- [Liv talks to Ravi about the remaining body of Wendell Gale]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: We're cremating Wendell? We couldn't find any next of kin?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: We found them. They just weren't interested in claiming his body.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv rolls out Wendell's dead body, narrating] What do you have to say for yourself, Wendell? Life dealt you a lousy hand, so you just folded tent, decided it was easier to be a rotten bastard. That's not gonna be me. I'm going down swinging.
- [Vaughn Du Clark tells Major Lilywhite about the zombie problem at hand]
- Vaughn Du Clark: Zombies don't deserve our mercy, so just put that thought out of your head.
- Vaughn Du Clark: [Du Clark chuckles before exhaling] How to explain? I love submarine movies. Big fan. And there's always this moment... It's the moment where the sub is torpedoed, and the compartment is flooding, and the captain's gotta give the order to, 'seal it up,' even though he still knows that there are men still alive in there. Cut to the sailor who receives that order. Tears in his eyes, closing that hatch on his comrades. The man that closes that hatch is a hero, isn't he?
- Vaughn Du Clark: [the scene cuts to showing a man be attacked in his own home] But we are both doing what needs to be done. We are saving lives. There are zombies living among us. And they are feasting on human brains. Where do they get these brains? Who knows? But don't you think it's a good idea to put an end to it? Sure, they look like us, they sound like us, but if you think about them as brain-eating atomic bombs, you'll sleep like a baby.
- Major Lilywhite: You've got the wrong man for the job.
- [Vaughn Du Clark threatens Major Lilywhite to help him and the Max Rager corporation clean-up]
- Vaughn Du Clark: Major, we are doing our civic duty here. We played a big part in creating this problem. And we are gonna be very aggressive in cleaning it up. We do know of one zombie, Liv Moore. We don't have to start with her, but we've gotta start somewhere.
- [Liv lays in bed, listening to her headphones while looking up at her bedroom ceiling]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [narrating] When I was 21, it was a very good year. 27? Less great. Best friend gone. Love of my life avoiding me. And my brother and mom still unwilling to hear me out. Tomorrow I'll eat a new brain, get Wendell out of my system. Maybe someday I'll be forgiven. With any luck, someone with a winning personality is out there getting murdered right now. Whoa. Uncool, Liv. Get out of my head, Wendell.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [there's a knock on Liv's bedroom door, as she turns off her handheld radio] Yeah?
- Gilda: Hey, roomie? Wanna watch the season premiere of Zombie High?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [narrating] Not really. I want to stay in here feeling sorry for myself, not listen to IRS break room gossip.
- [Liv joins her new roommate Gilda in the living room to watch some Zombie High, when it's revealed Liv's new roomie is a spy for Vaughn Du Clark]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Hmm. What are those pesky zombies up to this week?
- Gilda: [Gilda smiles] Death and mayhem. The ush.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Hey, how was work?
- Gilda: [Gilda chuckles, talking about Major] Oh, my God. You would not believe the guy we hired. Super freaking hot. Like, stupid how. Magic Mike hot.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Right on. Are you gonna work your Gilda magic on him?
- Gilda: [Gilda sighs] It's under serious consideration. Maybe I'll just toy with him for a while.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Oh, he doesn't stand a chance.
- [last lines]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Gilda laughs, as Liv begins yelling at the TV] No, zombie!
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Gilda stares at Liv with an evil smirk] Dumb, dumb, zombie.