Rich Koz: Svengoolie

Quotes 

• Man at Door : I invented a refreshing new soft drink that was made with the secret ingredient cleaning fluid.

  [sound byte: "What? Hold it right there!"] 

  Svengoolie : You can't drink cleaning fluid! It'll kill ya!

  Man at Door : That's what they said. It's a shame. I even had a catchy slogan for it: "It not only hits the spot, but it also removes it!"

  [rim shot] 

  Svengoolie : Yeah, okay...

  Man at Door : Having ideas runs in my family. Take my grandpop. He was a baker.

  Svengoolie : Oh.

  Man at Door : He had to make giant loaves of bread, and it took him forever to cut them up to sell.

  Svengoolie : Sure.

  Man at Door : He used a knife, but it took too long. Then he used a cleaver, and it went faster, but it still took too much time. So, he added a second blade to the cleaver so it could do two loaves at once. That was better, but he wanted to be able to work even faster, and cut three loaves at once.

  Svengoolie : Oh.

  Man at Door : He added a third blade, and it worked, but he still wasn't satisfied.

  Svengoolie : Wow!

  Man at Door : He dared to try to be able to cut one more loaf. So he added a fourth blade.

  Svengoolie : Wow.

  Man at Door : And when he was done, he looked at it, stood back in awe, and suddenly realizing what he was gazing upon, said,

  [singing] 

  Man at Door : "I'm looking over a four loaf cleaver,

  [Sven joining in] 

  Man at Door : that I overlooked before! / We first did this joke sixteen years ago, / Why we repeat it, I really don't know!"

  [sound byte: "Aw shut up, will ya?"]