- Sterling Archer: Because *you* said we were on a break!
- Lana Kane: So two days later your *cock's* wet?
- Sterling Archer: [scoffs] Oh, I'm sorry, Lana, is there a grace period? Because...
- [they begin arguing over each other]
- Lana Kane: There is an acceptable amount of time...
- Sterling Archer: ...if there is, you neglected to tell me about it...
- Lana Kane: ...before you start cramming your trash dick...
- Sterling Archer: ...but I guess that's par for the course with you...
- Lana Kane: ...into every woman unlucky enough to walk by with...
- Sterling Archer: ...because you never bother to consult with me on...
- Sterling Archer, Lana Kane: *anything*!
- Sterling Archer: And for your information, this stupid break wasn't my idea, *it was yours*!
- Lana Kane: Because you, prolapsed rectum that you are, are infatuated with Veronica Deane, whose cobwebby old snooch, by the way...
- Lana Kane: [looking at Archer's crotch] *I can smell from here*!
- Sterling Archer: [chuckling] Well, it's not cobwebby anymore.
- [Archer drinks directly from the champagne bottle he had been holding in front of his exposed privates. Lana attacks him]
- Malory Archer: And what the hell are you wearing?
- Sterling Archer: I think, technically, it's a... loincloth?
- [pause]
- Sterling Archer: Fashioned out of a baby-doll nightie.
- [Malory lifts a finger to say something, then lets out a sigh]
- Sterling Archer: Well, sorry, Mother. I didn't know I was going to a funeral.
- [pauses]
- Sterling Archer: [looks to Lana] I would've worn a black one.
- [everyone gives him a stern look except Lana, who closes her eyes and shakes her head]
- Sterling Archer: [Beeping horn while sitting in his 2-seat car that is on top of a flatbed truck] Let's go, you dumb idiots! Well, one of you anyway; the rest of you, maybe car pool. Luigi won't let anybody ride in the cab. I mean, unless you're down for road head.
- Pam Poovey: [Raising hand] Shotgun!
- Cheryl Tunt: [as Malory takes a grape off the serving table and pops it in her mouth] Holy shit, did she just eat a grape?
- Pam Poovey: Must be her cheat day.