- Jerome Valeska: Ladies and gentleman, good evening!
- Theo Galavan: Very good. Boyishly charming. The laugh is fabulous. Use that.
- [Jerome Valeski and Robert Greenwood have a disagreement on who should be the boss]
- Theo Galavan: Boys, we're a team. We don't fight amongst ourselves.
- Arnold Dobkins: Yeah, we're a team, boys.
- Robert Greenwood: [Greenwood holds onto the sword] And I'm the captain.
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome drops the electric chainsaw he was holding] Captain of my foot.
- Robert Greenwood: I've murdered a dozen women. Terrorized the city. What have you done? Chop up your mommy?
- Jerome Valeska: Everybody has to start somewhere. See, I have a vision and ambition and brains. You're just a nutty old cannibal. How many people can you eat before that shtick gets old.
- Robert Greenwood: I could eat one more.
- [Jerome and the Maniax see a school bus of cheerleaders pass by their truck]
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome makes goggles with his hands over his eyes] I spy with my little eye something that is... yellow.
- [the girls are seen cheering on the school bus]
- Robert Greenwood: Yay, Gotham!
- [Jerome Valeska stands over the tied up Commissioner Essen in the police precinct]
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome whistles] Hell of a first week you're having, Commissioner. I wish I could tell you that things were gonna get better for you. They're not.
- [Theo Galavan has both Jerome Valeska and Robert Greenwood play a game of Russian Roulette, the winner becomes the boss of the Maniax]
- Theo Galavan: [Theo pulls out a pistol and one bullet] You all know this game. right?
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome grins] Mm, love it.
- Theo Galavan: [Theo loads the gun and holds it out in-between both men] Who wants to be the boss?
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome looks at Greenwood] Ladies first.
- [Greenwood takes the gun without hesitation, pulling the trigger, the hammer clicks]
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome takes the gun from Greenwood] Hey, Greenwood, what's the secret to good comedy?
- [the hammer clicks]
- Jerome Valeska: Timing. And what's courage?
- [the hammer clicks]
- Jerome Valeska: Grace under pressure. And... who's the boss?
- [Jerome with a big smile on his face, fires the hammer of the pistol, as Theo grins and Greenwood flinches]
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome grimaces into Greenwood's face] I'm the boss.
- Theo Galavan: [Theo takes the gun] I believe you are, Jerome. I believe you are.
- [Theo Galavan congratulates the Maniax on making a name for themselves]
- Theo Galavan: Fine job yesterday, gentleman. We opened big. The whole city knows your name now. So, bravo. Let's give ourselves a round of applause.
- [Arnold is the only one to clap, in circles]
- Theo Galavan: Now that we have Gotham's attention, it's time for the maniax to make their grand entrance.
- Jerome Valeska: Wasn't that it?
- Theo Galavan: That was the overture. Now the audience is hushed, expectant. The curtain rises...
- Jerome Valeska: Then what happens?
- Theo Galavan: Oh, then we confront Gothamites with their most primal fears. Take from them all they hold dear and sacred.
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome grins] And then what happens?
- Theo Galavan: Why, then, we offer them salvation. And then they are ours.
- [Alfred Pennyworth agrees to help train Bruce Wayne]
- Alfred Pennyworth: If I agree to help you, to make you ready, you must do exactly as I say and when I say it with no exceptions, is that understood?
- Bruce Wayne: Understood. But, in return, you must fix that computer.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Fix it? How on earth am I gonna do that?
- Bruce Wayne: That's not my problem. I'm not the one who broke it.
- [Jerome Valeska begins to call out a cheer for the cheerleaders]
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome calls out a letter] Give me an O!
- [Jerome fires a pistol inside of the bus]
- Jerome Valeska: I said give me an O.
- [the cheerleaders whimper an O]
- Jerome Valeska: Give me an N!
- [the cheerleaders whimper an N]
- Jerome Valeska: Give me another O!
- [the cheerleaders whimper an O]
- Jerome Valeska: What does that spell? O No!
- [Jerome begins spraying a hose of gasoline inside of the bus of girls]
- [Alfred Pennyworth confronts Lucius Fox at a bar]
- Alfred Pennyworth: You know... I once knew this geezer called Onslow on the island of Dogs in east end of London. Lairy little scalleywag, he was. He was, uh, too smart by half; never trusted him. Anyway, one day, Lucius, he comes bowling up to me, and asks me to do him this right iffy favor. Oh, it doesn't matter what it was. The point being, against my better judgment, I agreed to do it. But, Lucius, I told him, I told him straight. If you let me down Onslow, I will tuck you up, sunshine, like a kipper. He swears blind, swears on his mother's grave he'd never do such a thing. But of course he did. Couldn't help himself; he let me down. So I tucked him up. Like a kipper.
- Lucius Fox: What is a Kipper?
- Alfred Pennyworth: It's a type of smoked fish. Very nice with eggs and brown toast for breakfast. But what I learned from Onslow is this. There are two types of people on this planet, you see. Them you can trust... and them you can't.
- Lucius Fox: I cannot disagree.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Which kind are you?
- Lucius Fox: Both kinds of people would give you the same answer, wouldn't they?
- Alfred Pennyworth: Exactly. Exactly right. There lieth the problem, Lucius. You see, I need to confide in you. But I need to know that you're trustworthy.
- Lucius Fox: Perhaps I should decline your confidence. I don't like the sound of these kippers.
- [Jerome Valeska speaks to the tied up Commissioner Essen in the police precinct of dead officers]
- Sarah Essen: Why are you doing this?
- Jerome Valeska: To rule the world. Blah, blah, blah. But we'll settle for some dead cops and some good PR. Kidding.
- Sarah Essen: Yeah. Whatever. I get it. You're just crazy.
- Jerome Valeska: Crazy? Look at me. You can see I'm not crazy.
- Sarah Essen: Very soon, little man. You will be dead. And the world will go on without you. You'll be nothing. No one will even remember your name.
- Jerome Valeska: Mm. No. That is where you're wrong, old lady. We will leave a mark on this city. We will spread across it like a virus. Do you know why?
- Robert Greenwood: [Greenwood interrupts] There's nothing more contagious than laughter.
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome pulls out his pistol and shoots Greenwood dead before looking back at the Commissioner] My line. There's nothing more contagious than laughter.
- [Jerome laughs hysterically]
- [Jerome Valeska tosses bodies off of the rooftop with the other escaped inmates]
- Jerome Valeska: [a body is tossed off] Perfect.
- Arnold Dobkins: What shall we do with the... spare?
- Jerome Valeska: [the inmates looks at the remaining victim] Ooh! I know.
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome takes the red spray can and spray paints an exclamation point on the final kidnap victim's white strait-jacket] Aaron. Would you kindly?
- Arnold Dobkins: [Aaron tosses the final body off of the roof and the inmates read the word they spelled with the bodies] Maniax!
- Jerome Valeska: Now that's a headline.
- [Jerome laughs]
- [Jerome Valeska hijacks a bus full of cheerleaders]
- Jerome Valeska: [speaking to the kidnapped girls on the bus] I want you all to know this was a very difficult decision for us. It was between you and a senior citizen bingo party. In the end, we decided to skew a little younger. Youth won the day. Sorry.
- [Barbara Kean threatens Gordon to his face]
- Barbara Kean: [Barbara sits on the beaten down Gordon] I'm not sick. I'm free. You don't get that. I could explain it, but you should probably get back to work. Who knows what went wrong when you were gone.
- [Barbara kisses the bloody Gordon on the lips]
- [Theo Galavan tries to prep the Maniax for their next spotlight crime]
- Theo Galavan: First, you gentleman need to learn a little stagecraft.
- Robert Greenwood: Stagecraft?
- Theo Galavan: You're going to be on TV. You have to present yourselves with style and vigor. Dobkins, say good evening ladies and gentleman.
- Arnold Dobkins: [nervously says] Good evening, ladies and gentleman.
- Theo Galavan: Again, with a smile.
- Arnold Dobkins: [with a scared smile] Good evening, ladies and gentleman.
- Theo Galavan: [Theo sighs and points to Robert] You.
- Robert Greenwood: [Robert clears his throat] Good evening, ladies and gentleman!
- Theo Galavan: Not bad. Sinister and authoritative.
- Theo Galavan: [Theo looks at Aaron before looking to Jerome] Never mind. Jerome.
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome stands on his chair with a high theatrical voice] Ladies and gentleman, good evening!
- Theo Galavan: [Jerome sits back down chuckling to himself] Very good. Boyishly charming. The laugh is fabulous. Use that.
- [last lines]
- [Gotham News broadcasts the video recording of Jerome at the police precinct]
- Jerome Valeska: Hello, Gotham City! We're the Maniax. And I'm Jerome, the shot caller of our little gang. We're here to spread the message of wisdom and hope.
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome pulls out his pistol and fires it at a whimpering officer on the ground] Some people have no manners. You're all prisoners. What you call insanity, it's just a prison in your minds that stops you from seeing that you're just tiny little cogs in a giant absurd machine.
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome screams into the video recorder] Wake up! Why be a cog? Be free like us.
- Jerome Valeska: [laughing uncontrollably while holding the smile up of a dead officer] Just remember, smile. Oh! Time to go. But don't worry. We'll be back very soon. Hang on to your hats, folks. 'Cause you ain't seen nothing yet!
- [Jerome laughs hysterically, recording ends]
- [first lines]
- Theo Galavan: Mr. Mayor, you want to know what I really am?
- Mayor Aubrey James: [with a box on his head] Yes, sir.
- Theo Galavan: Shall I tell you?
- Mayor Aubrey James: Please, please.
- Theo Galavan: At heart... I'm an ardent student of human nature. Fascinating paradox, we are. So wise, and yes so foolish. So brave, and yet so fearful. For instance, this is a glass jar. Inside of it is a hairy spider. A tarantula, I guess, but I'm no expert. In a minute, I'm gonna open that little hatch in the front of your box. I'm gonna drop the spider inside, and I'm gonna close it. That's Choice A.
- [the Mayor cries from inside of the box]
- Theo Galavan: Choice B: I open the hatch, you speak to your lovely secretary Maggie on the telephone, you tell her you've run away with some woman and you'll be sending written instructions shortly. So which is it, Choice A or Choice B?
- Mayor Aubrey James: Choice B, please. Please, Choice B.
- Theo Galavan: The telephone. Of course. It's human nature.
- Theo Galavan: [Theo opens the box hatch] See? There is no spider. But if you don't do what I ask, you'll wish there was one.
- Mayor Aubrey James: Why are you doing this to me?
- Theo Galavan: Don't fret so. You're part of a great endeavor. A great cleansing. Monsters are coming, Mr. Mayor. Monsters. Who will cleanse this city in blood and fire.
- [Jim Gordon reads the profiles of the escaped inmates to the rest of the police precinct while watching a slideshow of each criminal]
- James Gordon: [a projector begins to show the arrest photos] These are our targets: Jerome Valeska, 18 years old. Matricide.
- James Gordon: [the projection clicks over] Arnold Dobkins, schizophrenic. Poisoner, rapist.
- James Gordon: [the projection clicks over] Aaron Helzinger. Killed his entire family with his bare hands.
- James Gordon: [the projection clicks over] Robert Greenwood. Killed and then ate a dozen women.
- James Gordon: [the projection clicks over, as Gordon hesitates] Barbara Kean. Killed her parents. We're gonna work this in groups of four. I'll hand out assignments throughout the day. Alvarez is my coordinating officer. Any questions?
- James Gordon: [no questions are asked] Let's get to work.
- [Edward Nygma tries to talk to Miss Kringle in the file room]
- Edward Nygma: Oh. Hello, Miss Kringle?
- Kristen Kringle: Hello, Mr. Nygma.
- Edward Nygma: How's your day going?
- Kristen Kringle: [Kringle smiles] Fine.
- Edward Nygma: Um, question for you.
- Kristen Kringle: [Nygma doesn't ask until Miss Kringle responds back] Y-Yes?
- Edward Nygma: [chuckling] Um... Did you know that houseflies hum in the key of F?
- Kristen Kringle: [Kringle sighs] No. No I - I did not know that.
- Edward Nygma: [Nygma awkwardly replies back] Okay, then.
- [Commissioner Essen spits in Jerome's Valeska's face]
- Jerome Valeska: That was strangely pleasant. Do it again.
- Jerome Valeska: [Commissioner Essen head-butts Jerome in his face] Oh!
- Sarah Essen: That's gonna leave a mark.
- Jerome Valeska: [Jerome laughs with blood running down his nose] You got me.
- Jerome Valeska: [stepping to Essen with his hands up and blood coming down his face] My turn.
- [Jerome laughs heavily]
- [Edward Nygma starts to talk to himself about asking Miss Kringle out on a date]
- Edward Nygma: Damn it. We agreed you were going to ask her out. No, we didn't agree to ask her. We agreed to think about asking her. But there's no point. She doesn't like you.
- Edward Nygma: [Nygma begins to hear his more confident personality start to talk to him from the corner room shadow] Maybe she'll like me. You ever consider that? Maybe she'll like me. I got confidence. Ladies love that.
- Edward Nygma: No, she won't like you. She won't. Go away.
- Edward Nygma: [Nygma screams before throwing a stack of papers into an empty corner] Please, just go away!
- Edward Nygma: [a detective stands at the doorway looking at Nygma] Hey.
- [Bruce Wayne talks to Alfred Pennyworth at the train station to not leave]
- Bruce Wayne: I don't want you to go, Alfred. But you're either with me or you're against me. And if you're against me, I don't have a choice.
- Alfred Pennyworth: I'm with you, Master Bruce. I've always been with you. But what you're doing is tantamount to suicide. This is big boy stuff. You're too young; you're not ready.
- Bruce Wayne: Then make me ready. You-You've lived a dangerous life, and you've survived. So teach me. Teach me how to do the same. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll train every day.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Yeah, well, you said that before, didn't you?
- Bruce Wayne: That was before. Now I know the truth. And I know what I have to do. I'll even go back to school, if you want.
- Alfred Pennyworth: School, even?
- [Alfred Pennyworth threatens Lucius Fox for if he betrays him and Bruce Wayne]
- Alfred Pennyworth: I mean, it's you, after all, Lucius, that created this mess when you told young Master Bruce that his dear old dead dad... was a stoic.
- Lucius Fox: Ah.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Ah, exactly. You see, there's a problem, I got no one else to turn to. I have to confide in you.
- Lucius Fox: I see.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Do you? Let me just be crystal clear about this. If it turns out... that I can't trust you, I swear on my mother's grave, you, my old sausage... are a dead man.
- Lucius Fox: I have only the best intentions for Bruce Wayne.
- Alfred Pennyworth: [Alfred leans back with a smile calling out to the bartender] Well, another gin and tonic please, uh, governor. And whatever this young man is drinking, one for yourself. How are you at fixing computers?
- [Lucius Fox talks to Bruce Wayne about his father]
- Lucius Fox: Your father, he was a very private man. He had to be. I simply helped with technical resources, like this computer.
- Bruce Wayne: Do you know what's on it.
- Lucius Fox: No. I didn't want to know, to be honest.
- Bruce Wayne: But you can fix it?
- Lucius Fox: Hm, I should think so. But it is going to take some time.
- Bruce Wayne: Well, um, thank you for your help.
- Lucius Fox: [Lucius takes off his glasses] I loved your father. I regret that I never told him so. I regret that I didn't help him more.
- [Harvey Bullock shows up at the precinct in his Detective outfit]
- Harvey Bullock: She was a good woman.
- James Gordon: Good Cop. It's good to see you, but you don't have to do this.
- Harvey Bullock: Let's not talk about it. We are who we are, right? No use fighting it.
- Bruce Wayne: This computer could contain all my father's research into Wayne Enterprises. All this time, I've been looking for a smoking gun, and here it is.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Exactly. A smoking gun. Now, guns are for grown-ups, aren't they?
- Bruce Wayne: That's a metaphor, Alfred, not an argument.