- Leo Dooley: Where did you get a dog?
- Bree Davenport: And please do not say "From a guy with sunglasses and a cane."
- Douglas Davenport: Can't you just use your override app on him?
- Chase Davenport: No, I can't override an override app, Guy-Who-Built-Me!
- Chase Davenport: [musically] Adam, look what I got.
- Adam Davenport: [with rapture] Oh, it's a ball!
- Chase Davenport: You want the ball? You want the BALL?
- Adam Davenport: Oh, yes I do, I do, I do. I want the ball, I want the ball. Gimme the ball, gimme the ball, gimme the ball.
- Leo Dooley: Well, it's nice to hear that you had someone to comfort you while you were plotting to kill us.
- Chase Davenport: Oh, thank you so much for choosing me over a dog.
- Douglas Davenport: Well, it wasn't easy.
- Bree Davenport: Who you talking to, Leo?
- Leo Dooley: [thinking fast] Mr. Davenport.
- Bree Davenport: That sounded like a girl.
- Leo Dooley: I think we can both agree that is one of his many faults.
- Bree Davenport: Look, I don't know what's sadder, the fact that you're dating your phone or that I think your phone can do better.
- Chase Davenport: [unswayed by Adam's long-lost cousin story] Adam, that's a dog in a blanket.
- Adam Davenport: Look, I know she's not the most attractive woman, but she's family.
- Adam Davenport: [saying goodbye to Otis] Oh, I know, buddy. I'm gonna miss you, too. I'll think of you every time I drag my butt across the rug.
- Douglas Davenport: [having been licked] What are you doing? That is disgusting! And why do I think Otis's tongue is cleaner than yours?
- Douglas Davenport: What are you doing?
- Adam Davenport: [with Douglas' pant leg in his teeth] I don't know. I can't stop, but your pants taste surprisingly good. It's like you ran through a field of bacon.
- Bree Davenport: Oh, Liam, it is so nice to finally meet a guy who I can just shut off and put in a drawer when I'm done with him.
- Leo Dooley: Care to explain those sounds coming from down below?
- Bree Davenport: If I say it's gas, will you leave me alone?
- [Adam pounces on Chase, licking off his peanut-butter suit]
- Chase Davenport: Adam, stop!
- Adam Davenport: Don't blame me! It's the dog!
- Douglas Davenport: But I removed his chip.
- Adam Davenport: Okay, it's me.
- Adam Davenport: Oh, I get it. So we're takin' *Chase* to the pound.
- Douglas Davenport: No, we're gonna hide Otis.
- Adam Davenport: Right. THEN we take Chase to the pound.