The Marvelous M Show (2011– )

Mason Morgan: Malcolm (As Malcolm), Malcolm, Malcolm (As Malcolm) (2011-2014), Stabobo (As Malcolm), Demon, Doctor Mac (As Malcolm), Evil Sandwiches (Voice only), Future Malcolm (As Malcolm), Homeless guy (As Malcolm), Mirror Demon (As Malcolm), Narrator, Pirate (As Malcolm), Professor Flirk, Stabobo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Taz : "I'm going to the dentist."

  Malcolm : "Why are you going to the dentist?"

  Taz : "My tooth is killing me."

  Malcolm : "Oh please. I can fix that problem in 5 minutes."

  Taz : "Uh... my tooth is feeling a lot better now!"

  Malcolm : "Shut your trap and open your mouth!"

• Malcolm : [Watches the "WB Yourself" commercial from Kids WB]  "Dear god. I dress just like this kid! And Ace Ventura."

• Malcolm : "You distract her. I'll run!"

  Rhino : "Ri... What About Me?"

  Malcolm : "You are so selfish."

• Malcolm : "Hey there lady! Is that a mirror in your pocket? Or can I just see myself in your shorts?"

• Chris the Redneck : [Walks into a river] 

  Malcolm : [Sarcastically]  Is it cold down there?

  Chris the Redneck : Why don't you get your fat ass down here and find out!

• Malcolm : Your gonna say, "The Marvelous M Rules" after I rip it. 1... 2... 3.

  [Rips wax strip off of Garrity's chest] 

  Garrity : OY!

  Malcolm : SAY IT! SAY IT!

  Garrity : F*** THAT HURT!

• Chase : I'm a... a bit of an Elf on a Shelf.

  Taz : Wow!

  Malcolm : Amazing!

  Rhino : No wonder your so short.

  Chase : HEY!

  Malcolm : You know, my grandmother was jewish, and she told me about "The Minsch on the Bench".

  Chase : I forbid you to make that joke.

• Malcolm : [Excited]  Oh look, another letter!

  [Opens up a letter from Santa] 

  Santa Claus : Dear Malcolm. You don't get the one ring of Sauron. You Get NOTHING! All you have done is swear and slap people around. That is by FAR the naughtiest thing I can think of! i hope you've learned your lesson. Santa Claus. Ho ho ho!

  Malcolm : WHAT A FAT F***!

• Malcolm : [Lifts the TV Remote]  Once you are able to snatch this remote from my hand, you will be ready to...

  Taz : [Takes the remote while Malcolm is talking] 

  Malcolm : Not yet.

  Taz : Oh, sorry.

  [Gives the remote back] 

• Malcolm : Gak made a comeback, Surge made a comeback, French Toast Crunch made a comeback, Gas is under $2, the Cowboys are in the Play-Offs! Is time going in reverse!

  Nickelodeon Announcer : And now, back to Nickelodeon's "Breadwinners"!

  Malcolm : Nope, Nickelodeon still sucks. When was it that Nickelodeon just GAVE UP?

• Rhino : Until then, Nickelodeon... we will keep making fun of you until you return to your former glory.

  Chase : Well... you guys are pitiful.

  Malcolm : How?

  Chase : You are grown ass men!

  Malcolm : Yes. Yes, we are.

  Chase : But yet, you're... complaining over a... children's channel?

  Rhino : You're defending Nickelodeon?

  Chase : Oh god no. I'm just saying that Nickelodeon is trying to entertain the children of today. You know... modern times?

  Rhino : [Rhino and Malcolm have an epiphany]  So...

  Malcolm : We have to move on.

  Rhino : We have to grow up.

  Malcolm : We have to mature.

  Rhino : And let the past go.

  Rhino and Malcolm : [They are silent for at least 3 seconds until they look at Chase]  F*** THAT SH**!

• Malcolm : [Malcolm smacks Taz after reading the temperature] 

  Taz : Ow! What was that for?

  Malcolm : I blame you for this weather?

  Taz : Wha... how is this my fault?

  Malcolm : I don't know, but if it gets one degree colder, I'm gonna kick your ass!

• Malcolm : Hey, would you rather it be summer or winter?

  Rhino : [With enthusiasm]  WINTER!

  Taz : [Sprays Rhino with a garden hose] 

  Malcolm & Taz : Wrong answer!

• Malcolm : I wonder if this video will get reviewed by Rob Dyrdek?

  Taz : Just the... that'd be cool!