Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series)

Kimmy Kisses a Boy! (2015)

Carol Kane: Lillian Kaushtupper

Quotes 

• Kimmy Schmidt : [to Charles]  I thought it was weird when you said, "Troll the respawn, Jeremy," but I figured that was just a new way of saying goodbye. I've been saying it all day.

  [flashback to Kimmy leaving her apartment and passing Lillian on the stoop] 

  Kimmy Schmidt : Troll the respawn, Jeremy.

  Lillian Kaushtupper : [laughs]  First time on bath salts, dear?

• Lillian Kaushtupper : What do you want, dear? I was "Rear Window"-ing, and it was just starting to get good. The old man on the third floor's stuck in the tub. He's starting to panic.

  Titus Andromedon : Lillian, I'm planning a seduction.

  Lillian Kaushtupper : A seduction. I remember those days. A cocktail at the bar. A conversation held only with the eyes. And then the two of you retire to the bathroom.

  Titus Andromedon : I called you because I need you to keep Kimmy and her girlfriend out of the apartment.

  Lillian Kaushtupper : Oh, sure.

  Titus Andromedon : I just need five minutes with that country boy. Or however long Kenny Loggins' "Footloose" is.

  Lillian Kaushtupper : Titus, cherish this time. Someday you'll wake up and you'll say, "Who's that old woman in the mirror?" And then she'll punch you, and you'll say, "That's not a mirror. That's an open window." What are we talking about again? Eh.

• Lillian Kaushtupper : [stalling Kimmy and Cyndee so Titus can seduce Brandon]  So then, in 1984... no, wait. Lemme back up. Modern-day Israel...