Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
A Chic Bar in Ibiza (2014)
Ashton Kutcher: Walden Schmidt
Quotes
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Walden Schmidt : When I think of the ten things I want in a wife, you have nine of them. You're my best friend, you're trustworthy, you're loving, you're smart, you'll never leave me.
Alan Harper : Married or not, till death do us part.
Walden Schmidt : You're funny, you're understanding. You don't care if I leave the toilet seat up.
Alan Harper : I actually prefer it. Although the other night I forgot it was up and I had a surprise splash-down. I was like a turtle on its back.
Walden Schmidt : Right there, that's another one. As long as you're around, I will never be the most awkward guy in the room.
Alan Harper : So what's the one thing you want in a wife that I don't have?
Walden Schmidt : [look]
Alan Harper : Oh, right, right. I do not have one of those. I barely have one of these.