Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)

Bad George Clooney (2014)

Valerie Bertinelli: Melanie Moretti

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Elka Ostrovsky : Look at our baby; he's so depressed.

  Melanie Moretti : Maybe we should just take him back to the vet.

  Joy Scroggs : No, the vet said he was fine physically.

  Elka Ostrovsky : Well, maybe he's just sad because Joy looks like a bone he can't chew on.

  Victoria Chase : Or maybe because for every one of our years he ages seven. That would depress the hell out of me.

• Melanie Moretti : I thought you guys were supposed to be getting along.

  Joy Scroggs : We tried all morning not to snipe at each other, and knowing we can't snipe at each other only made us snipe at each other more.

  Melanie Moretti : Well, you can't run away from the problem.

  Joy Scroggs : The problem is 92 years old; I think I can.

• Melanie Moretti : [to radio caller]  Why don't you just cut the guy some slack? And if you have to criticize him, do it *after* sex. That way he associates criticism with pleasure.