- Sue Heck: Mom, be careful. That is my essay for the American Patriot Scholarship. I know I am going to get that one. No one loves America more than me. And here, check out my title - "Why I'm an Ameri-can, and Not an Ameri-can't - A.K.A. Red, White, and Sue".
- Sue Heck: [reading letter] "Dear Sue, Due to the record-high number of submissions" - they had so many submissions - "we regret to inform you that despite your wonderful essay" - they loved my essay - "we are unable to offer you a scholarship, but look forward to you trying again next year." They look forward to me trying again next year!
- Axl Heck: [to Hutch] Just give her a minute.
- Sue Heck: Wait. No! No! No!
- [sinks to floor]
- Sue Heck: I'm so perturbed!
- Sue Heck: Are you crazy? I can't go to a spa. I have to study for my A.C.T.s, plus I'm gonna have to find a new service project, because I cut up the meat wrong and I choked an old person.
- Sue Heck: I got the Optimist's Scholarship. It's for a hundred dollars! I can't believe they picked me. Aah! The world is such a special place. I can hardly wait for the next moment.