Supernatural (TV Series)

Do You Believe in Miracles (2014)

Mark Sheppard: Crowley

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Quotes 

• Crowley : Your brother, bless his soul, is summoning me as I speak. Make a deal, bring you back. It's exactly about what I was talking about, isn't it? It's all become so... expected. You have to believe me. When I suggested you can take on the mark of Cain, I didn't know this was going to happen. Not really. I mean, I might not have told you the entire truth. But I never lied. I never lied, Dean. That's important. It's fundamental. But... there is one story about Cain that I might have... forgotten to tell you. Apparently, he, too, was willing to accept death, rather than becoming the killer the mark wanted him to be. So he took his own with the blade. He died. Except, as rumor has it, the mark never quite let go. You can understand why I never spoke of this. Why set hearts aflutter of mere speculation? It wasn't until you summoned me... no, it wasn't truly until you left that cheeseburger uneaten... that I began to let myself believe. Maybe miracles do come true. Listen to me, Dean Winchester. What you're feeling right now - it's not death. It's life - a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And let's go take a howl at that moon.

  [Dean's eyelids open revealing demonic eyes] 

• Crowley : I kicked human blood, you know.

  Dean Winchester : Oh, so you're a full-metal douche again? Well, that's fantastic. Would you like a stuffed bear?

  Crowley : Just trying to make conversation.

  Dean Winchester : How's Hell, Crowley?

  Crowley : Hell's fine. Hell's like a Swiss watch. Don't worry about Hell. Hell's complicated.

  Dean Winchester : "Game of Thrones" is complicated. The shower sex - that's complicated. Hell ain't complicated. Your problem ain't Hell. It's you.

  Crowley : Fair enough. What's your problem, then?

  Dean Winchester : My problem is Metatron.

• Crowley : So this is what you and Moose do, eh? Crisscross the country searching for evil, order your nitrates, partake of the local attraction?

  Dean Winchester : Yup.

  Crowley : And you never get tired of the rat race? Never get the urge to just bugger off and howl at the moon? Never ask yourself, is this it? Is this all there is?

• Dean Winchester : How's Hell, Crowley?

  Crowley : Hell's fine! Hell's like a Swiss watch. Don't worry about Hell. Hell's complicated.

  Dean Winchester : Game of Thrones is complicated. Shower sex, that's complicated. Hell ain't complicated. You're problem ain't Hell. It's *you*.

• Dean Winchester : [Fear and uncertainty in his eyes]  What the hell is happening to me, you son of a bitch?

  Crowley : Liquor before beer? Bad tacos? How should I know?

  Dean Winchester : I can't turn it off!

  [He can barely stand still] 

  Dean Winchester : Ever since I killed Abaddon, it's- it's like this whole... other *thing*! I get this high, and I- I- I need to kill. I mean I really, *really* need to kill, and if I don't...

  Crowley : You yack your guts out.

  [pause] 

  Crowley : It's the mark.

  Dean Winchester : Meaning?

  Crowley : It wants you to kill. The more you kill, the better you feel. The less you kill, the less better you feel.

  Dean Winchester : How much less better?

  Crowley : One would imagine the least less better.

  Dean Winchester : [quietly]  So, dead.

  [Crowley sort of shrugs and nods. Dean is working hard to focus] 

  Dean Winchester : Cain had the mark. He didn't die.

  Crowley : Cain was a demon. Your body's not strong enough to contain the blade's power.

  Dean Winchester : [Grabs his right forearm...]  What if I got rid of it?

  Crowley : You *want* to get rid of it?

  Dean Winchester : [pause, struggling inwardly]  What I want is Metatron.

  Crowley : Go on.

  Dean Winchester : But, I have to get through that door, and I have to get to the blade. And you're gonna help me.

• Crowley : Love, if I wanted a soapy massage from Dr. Phil, I would have hit 3 on the speed dial, all right?

• Crowley : Excuse me. I'm not exactly demon Minion number three here. As the kids say, I've got mad skills.

• Crowley : The more you kill, the better you feel. The less you kill, the less better you feel.

  Dean Winchester : How much less better?

  Crowley : One would imagine the least-best better.