"Jessie" G.I. Jessie (TV Episode 2013) Poster

(TV Series)

(2013)

Karan Brar: Ravi Ross

Quotes 

  • Darla Shannon : [sees Jessie splattered in food and approaches her]  Jessie?

    [walks over to Jessie's table] 

    Darla Shannon : Jessie Prescott, is that you?

    [chuckles] 

    Darla Shannon : I see you're still having trouble with your table manners!

    Jessie Prescott : [annoyed]  Hey Darla.

    [sarcastically] 

    Jessie Prescott : Nice to see you too.

    Zuri Ross : *That's* Darla? She doesn't look like a witch!

    Jessie Prescott : Oh yeah? Throw some water on her and we can send her home in a bucket!

    Darla Shannon : [Jessie and Darla laugh slightly]  I see you're still babysitting! What happened to that big acting career you were gonna have?

    Jessie Prescott : Oh, it's... it's going well. It just takes time.

    Darla Shannon : Talent might help too. Meanwhile, I've been travelling all over the world as a flight attendant!

    Jessie Prescott : Really? Cuz, I heard you were on the Galveston to Amarillo run. Luckily, I don't have a job where I have to run around waiting on people!

    Ravi Ross : Jessie, I need milk!

    Luke Ross : Jessie, take my tray!

    Zuri Ross : Jessie, my nose is still runny!

    Darla Shannon : At least they're calling you. Unlike *all* the boys in high school!

    Luke Ross : [approaching Darla, annoyed]  Hey, that's my lady you're talking to!

    Darla Shannon : You finally did catch a man! But this one's so small, you might wanna throw him back!

  • Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : [Jessie's dad has caught out Jessie and the kids; after seeing Luke, Zuri and Ravi stick goo onto Darla and sticking her to the wall]  JESSIE!

    Col. Beverly Shannon : [seeing Darla stuck to the wall]  Oh, my stars and stripes! Dar-Dar, is that you?

    Darla Shannon : [stuck to the wall in goo]  Yes, Mummy! Look what they did to me!

    Col. Beverly Shannon : Oh, dear! You look like one of those hideous aliens from Area 51!

    [Jessie, the kids, Darla and Jessie's dad look at her weirdly, with a brief pause] 

    Col. Beverly Shannon : Which completely does not exist.

    [gives them a threatening stare and points at them] 

    Col. Beverly Shannon : And if any of you dare to mention this conversation, there will be a probing in your future!

    [the kids look at each other] 

    Jessie Prescott : [Jessie looks at her dad, worried]  Dad, I know what you're thinking; but, any time there's trouble,

    [points at Darla] 

    Jessie Prescott : Darla is the one who starts it!

    Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : [looks at the kids, in the B.A.T; and Darla stuck to the wall]  So did she start this?

    Jessie Prescott : [looks at the kids and Darla awkwardly]  OK, maybe this time is a bad example.

    Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : I've asked you to try and get along with Darla, but instead, you attack her with experimental weaponry?

    Jessie Prescott : [Jessie has had enough of her dad forcing her to get along with Darla]  Why do you care so much if I get along with Darla? After this trip, I'll never have to see her again!

    Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : Oh, yes, you will, because you and Darla are going to be *sisters*!

    Jessie Prescott : [Jessie is shocked at the thought of becoming Darla's step-sister]  WHAT?

    Col. Beverly Shannon : [looking at Jessie and Darla]  That's right, girls. My armored heart has been captured by this

    [looking at J.W] 

    Col. Beverly Shannon : uniformed yum-yum!

    [Beverly and J.W smooch in front of Jessie and Darla and both of them express looks of disgust] 

    Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : So, we wanted you to become friends before we told you, but now, we're out of time.

    [looking at Beverly, smiling] 

    Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : Our wedding is tomorrow.

    Jessie Prescott : [shocked and confused]  Wait, tomorrow? As in... the day after today?

    Col. Beverly Shannon : Yes, if I can wait that long.

    [looking into space] 

    Col. Beverly Shannon : The only man I've had in my life for the last 10 years is Uncle Sam.

    [doing the Uncle Sam pose at J.W] 

    Col. Beverly Shannon : Now I want *you*!

    Jessie Prescott : [shocked]  Wait, so, *that's* why you wanted me to come home?

    Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : Yes! And that's why I invited *you*

    [looking at the kids] 

    Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott : , not these little threats to national security! Now, get out of my B.A.T! I had the seat just where I liked it!

    Ravi Ross : [the kids slowly start to get out of the B.A.T]  We are extremely sorry, sir. Even though I did not do anything, and it was all Luke's fault.

    [Ravi accidentally presses a button on the B.A.T and it foams both J.W and Beverly] 

    Ravi Ross : OK, that one is on me. By the way, for the wedding; can you put me down for a vegetarian meal?

    [Beverly and JW look at the kids in horror, trying to get the foam off] 

  • Bertram : [opening lines]  No! No! *NO!*

    Jessie Prescott : You just have to watch the kids for one measly weekend.

    [begging Bertram] 

    Jessie Prescott : Please?

    Bertram : No! Walking away. Don't follow!

    [Jessie walks behind Bertram] 

    Bertram : You're following.

    Jessie Prescott : Bertram, it's a big deal that my dad invited me home! He was *really* mad when I left for New York instead of joining the military.

    Bertram : Just think how glad the military was.

    Jessie Prescott : Please! This is my chance to clear the air with him and prove that I made the right decision!

    Bertram : By being a failed actress and a mediocre nanny?

    [Bertram chuckles to himself] 

    Jessie Prescott : OK, I may not have joined the military; but I can still still snap your windpipe with one finger.

    [Jessie holds up her pinky finger at Bertram] 

    Bertram : [referring to the children]  Better that than taking care of *those* monsters!

    Jessie Prescott : Please! They're such good kids! What could possibly go wrong?

    Emma Ross : [cutting to the Ross kids firing a rocket and beginning a countdown in the lounge room]  Three!

    Luke Ross : Two!

    Ravi Ross : One!

    Zuri Ross : BLAST OFF!

    [Ravi launches the rocket, and then it hits the roof; and the water tower; getting Jessie and Bertram all wet] 

    Bertram : [pointing at the roof; and the water tower that got blown up by the rocket]  That.

    Luke Ross : [staring at the roof]  I can't believe we blew up the water tower.

    [pause] 

    Luke Ross : AWESOME!

    [Jessie stares at the kids, shocked] 

    Emma Ross : Ravi, you said it would only go up 15 feet!

    Ravi Ross : Oops! It turns out rocket science is as difficult as... well, rocket science!

    [Jessie looks at Ravi, all wet, thinking "You think?"] 

    Zuri Ross : On the plus side, now we have a skylight!

    Ravi Ross : [to Jessie, thinking she was going to send them to their rooms]  Jessie, please do not send us to our rooms. Especially since the structure of the roof has been compromised.

    Jessie Prescott : [getting every bit of debris and water out of her hair and letting the kids know about their punishment]  Oh, you're not going to your rooms! You're going to spend the weekend on a military base. In Texas!

    Emma Ross : [in horror at the thought of going to Texas and yelling at the roof and echoing]  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    [it echoes through the penthouse and throughout New York City] 

  • Luke Ross : [Luke, Zuri and Ravi have blown up a big hole in the mess hall wall by accident] 

    [whispers] 

    Luke Ross : You think anybody noticed?

    [Zuri nods yes] 

    Ravi Ross : [looking at Luke]  Luke, did it ever occur to you that... "R" might stand for "ROCKET"?

  • Darla Shannon : [Darla stands up to the podium; delivering her speech]  OK. Um, I am so glad that my mum is marrying J.W.

    [looks at Jessie] 

    Darla Shannon : I have always admired his daughter, Jessie.

    Jessie Prescott : [to the soldier next to her at the table, under her breath]  Wait for it...

    Darla Shannon : [continues her speech]  Not everyone could fail so miserably at acting, and still has the courage to keep trying; even though she keeps getting rejected over, and over and *over*!

    Jessie Prescott : [under her breath]  And there it is!

    Darla Shannon : Kind of like the way she was rejected by all the boys in high school! She was so unpopular, that even the vending machines rejected her quarters!

    Jessie Prescott : [shoving Darla out of the way, delivering her speech]  OK! Alright, thank you, Darla!

    [sarcastically] 

    Jessie Prescott : That was fascinating! Just like your stories about collecting barf bags at 30,000 feet! And your "how to put on a seatbelt" speech is always a big hit at parties!

    Darla Shannon : [shoving Jessie out of the way, continues her speech]  OK, and I know whenever I need advice, Jessie will always be there, because Lord knows, she's never out on a *date*!

    Jessie Prescott : [shoves Darla out of the way, continues her speech] 

    [clapping sarcastically] 

    Jessie Prescott : Let's hear it for Darla Shannon! If her name sounds familiar, it's probably because you wrote a complaint letter to an airline about her!

    [Jessie and Darla mock laugh, and then scowl at each other] 

    Luke Ross : [while Darla and Jessie are trading insults at the rehearsal brunch, Luke, Zuri and Ravi are doing wheelies in the B.A.T]  THIS IS AWESOME!

    Zuri Ross : [Zuri whoops and shouts]  THIS IS FUN!

    Ravi Ross : [Ravi hands on for dear life in fear]  THIS IS GOING TO BE THE DAY I DIE! AND I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO PUBERTY!

    [the kids hit the brakes and they stop near the mess hall, where the rehearsal brunch is taking place] 

    Jessie Prescott : [10 minutes later, the insults between Jessie and Darla continue]  You should've seen Darla's face in high school! The moon had less craters! Then again, the moon didn't eat four personal pan pizzas for lunch every day!

    Darla Shannon : [shoving Jessie out of the way]  OK, at least I didn't have to eat with the cafeteria lady!

    Jessie Prescott : [shoving Darla out of the way]  Olga was a sparkling conversationalist! At least, I assume so. I don't speak Russian.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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