The Neighbors (TV Series)

Family Conference (2013)

Jami Gertz: Debbie Weaver

Quotes 

• Larry Bird : We usually go in order of prettiness but I'm going to let Jackie go first this time because, as the old saying goes, 'When the wife remains happy, the knife can stay in the drawer.'

  Debbie Weaver : Where are you finding these sayings?

• Debbie Weaver : Heaven forbid someone should touch you. When you were a baby you used to let me touch you all day long.

  Amber Weaver : What other options did I have? I was a baby!

• Jane : I'm Jane. I'm here to claim Reggie Jackson for all of time. And you are?

  Amber Weaver : Going to gouge out your dimples with my thumbs.

  Debbie Weaver : You go for the face, I'll take her out at the knees.

• Debbie Weaver : How'd she even get here, huh? I mean, I assume a spaceship, but that's like the ninth person to visit this year! Is anyone else noticing? How many spaceships have to land in New Jersey before NASA notices?

• Larry Bird : You know the old saying - "Happy wife, happy life..."

  Debbie Weaver : That's right.

  Larry Bird : ...No need to use a knife.

  Debbie Weaver : That's wrong.