Chef (2014)
Emjay Anthony: Percy
Photos
Quotes
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Martin : Here you go, little man.
[hands Percy a bottle of beer]
Percy : Are you sure? Is this beer?
Martin : No, of course not, I would never hand you beer. That's *cerveza*.
Percy : I'm 10, I can't have beer.
Martin : You're not 10! You're kitchen staff, kitchen staff doesn't have an age.
Percy : Dad?
Carl Casper : You can have a sip.
[Percy takes a sip from the bottle and makes a disgusted face]
Carl Casper : Huh? Like piss, right?
Percy : Worse!
Carl Casper : You remember that when your friends offer you a beer.
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Percy : Dad?
Carl Casper : Yeah.
Percy : You got 1,653 followers since last night.
Carl Casper : Oh, is that good?
Percy : It's amazing.
Carl Casper : Oh, good. What does it mean?
Percy : It means that 1,653 people are reading your Twitter feed.
Carl Casper : Mmm-hmm. I thought it was like texting.
Percy : Did you post anything since last night?
Carl Casper : No.
Percy : Are you sure?
Carl Casper : Yeah, I just sent a private message to somebody.
Percy : To who?
Carl Casper : To that a-hole food critic.
Percy : You can only send private messages to people who are following you. I think you might have posted that publicly.
Carl Casper : No, he wrote something nasty about me and then I hit "reply" and it let me send a message to him.
Percy : Dad, replies are public. Everybody can read them. And it looks like he re-tweeted it to all his 123,845 followers. And he wrote back.
Carl Casper : What did he say?
Percy : I don't think I should read it.
Carl Casper : Just... can you read it to me, please? Read the... read the reply.
Percy : [sighs] "At Chef Carl Casper, I would rather have you sit on my face after a brisk walk on a warm day than suffer through that fucking lava cake again."
Carl Casper : He wrote that to me?
Percy : He wrote it to everybody.
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Percy : [sets up a Twitter account for Carl] Okay. So, what do you want your username to be?
Carl Casper : Carl.
Percy : You can't just put "Carl". It's got to be "at" something.
Carl Casper : At Carl Casper.
Percy : At Carl Casper. Taken.
Carl Casper : Somebody took my name?
Percy : At Chef Carl Casper? Is that cool?
Carl Casper : Yeah, that's good.
Percy : At Chef Carl Casper.
Carl Casper : So is this for sex?
Percy : Ew. No. Is that what you're doing this for?
Carl Casper : No, I'm not doing it for that. Someone wrote something bad. I wanna see what they wrote.
Percy : Good. Oh, shit.
Carl Casper : Hey! You can't talk like that. I don't care if mommy's not around. I don't want you cursing around here.
Percy : That review went viral.
Carl Casper : What does that mean?
Percy : It means it got picked up and re-tweeted everywhere.
Carl Casper : So, all these people have read the review?
Percy : Yeah.
Carl Casper : Oh, shit.
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Carl Casper : [passing around the corn starch] Want some? Here, it's like baby powder. Cool your nuts... It's nice, right?
Percy : Nice.
Carl Casper : What's good is, in the morning, you can dip your nuts in oil and make hush puppies.
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Percy : What are you doing?
Martin : Dude, I'm putting a little corn starch on my huevos, man. It's a little too humid down here.
Percy : Dad, wake up. Martin's putting corn starch on his balls.
Carl Casper : [passes the corn starch] Want some? Here, it's like baby powder. Cool your nuts... It's nice, right?
Percy : Nice.
Carl Casper : What's good is, in the morning, you can dip your nuts in oil and make hush puppies.
