Jon Cryer: Jim Kearney

Quotes 

• [Cold open, first lines] 

  Jim Kearney : Okay, St. Patrick is up, let our annual official celebration begin. All hail everything Irish!

  [Everyone cheers] 

  Jimmy Jr. : Grandpa? Is it true that St. Patrick's Day is a legal holiday in Boston because Irish people are all alcoholics, and the government doesn't want kids walking home from school through rivers of Irish puke?

  Bobby Kearney : 100%.