Community (TV Series)
Alternative History of the German Invasion (2013)
Danny Pudi: Abed Nadir
Photos
Quotes
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Reinhold : Don't worry. If there is one thing Germans don't do, it's hold a grudge.
Abed Nadir : Unless we're talking about Die Hard 3.
Jeff Winger : Or the 20th century.
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Jeff Winger : Many years ago, before the concept of "too soon" existed, there was a show about a bunch of goofy Nazis running a prison camp. And that show was called...
Abed Nadir : Hogan's Heroes?
Jeff Winger : Hogan's Heroes. And while, for a latchkey kid with no jewish friends, it was a bit desensitizing, it still taught me that the lovable misfits always win. And the bumbling Germans always lose. All we need is a clever ruse. Strike that. All we need is a ruse.
Abed Nadir : You had me at "ruse."
Jeff Winger : That was the last thing I said.
Abed Nadir : Good thing you said it.
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Abed Nadir : Look, 12 o'clock. The "History of Ice Cream" class is letting out.
Garrett Lambert : It's as informative as it is delicious!
Britta Perry : That class should've been ours. I hear the final is a sundae bar.
Troy Barnes : I don't get history. If I wanted to know what happened in Europe a long time ago, I'd watch Game of Thrones.
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Dean Pelton : Greendale's a forgiving place.
Annie Edison : It really is.
Dean Pelton : Please keep that in mind the next 20 seconds. Remember that people can "Chang".
Jeff Winger : [This phrasing causes concern] People can what?
Ben Chang : [Enters] Hi, I'm Kevin.
Jeff Winger , Annie Edison , Abed Nadir , Shirley Bennett , Britta Perry , Troy Barnes , Pierce Hawthorne : [All screaming] AHHHHHH!
Dean Pelton : He has Changnesia.
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Britta Perry : Hate to say it, but this is what happens when a group of people blindly follows a charismatic, golden-throated leader.
Jeff Winger : Are you actually comparing me to Hitler?
[Abed, Troy and Britta all speak at once]
Britta Perry : Just a little.
Troy Barnes : Yeah...
Abed Nadir : There are similarities.
Pierce Hawthorne : Hang on. Nobody's even willing to consider that I might be the Hitler of this group?
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Professor Cornwallis : [enters lunch room where study group is sitting at a booth] Ah! There you people are. I believe we have something to discuss.
Jeff Winger : Oh, my God. You clever British bastard. You set this whole thing up to teach us a lesson.
Professor Cornwallis : What?
Jeff Winger : Making the school pretend to hate us, to show us that one man's hero is another man's villain. Of course! We aren't Nazis.
[group laughter]
Jeff Winger : I tip my cap to you, sir. Lesson learned.
Professor Cornwallis : Are you actually suggesting that a Professor at Greendale would set up an elaborate ruse just to teach seven students a lesson?
Jeff Winger , Annie Edison , Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir , Shirley Bennett , Britta Perry , Pierce Hawthorne : [overlapping acknowledgement] Uh, yes. Yeah. Yes. That's a Wednesday.
Professor Cornwallis : Oh, my God. I've made a terrible mistake coming here.
Annie Edison : So this wasn't part of the class? Then why are you here?
Professor Cornwallis : Because you had a test today, and you all missed it! *Fs* for everyone!
Shirley Bennett : Oh.
Professor Cornwallis : Maybe it's not too late to get out of my contract.
[exits]
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Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : [vocalizing] Beep, boop, bink, bing, bow!
Troy Barnes : And you know what that sound is.
Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : It's the Troy and Abed Podcast.
Abed Nadir : Sponsored by Shirley's Sandwiches, home of the fried chicken skin wrap.
Troy Barnes : Is it inside? Is it outside? You find out. Okay, our guest today is from Germany, Europe.
Abed Nadir : Karl, guten tag. How are you doing?
Karl : Sehr gut.
Abed Nadir : Great. Now's the part of the show where we get real. Friendship, loyalty, betrayal, redemption.
Karl : Is this an apology?
Abed Nadir : Yes. And for being a guest on the show today, we want you to have this.
Troy Barnes : It's a gift certificate to Shirley's Sandwiches, home of the triple-fried monte cristo. We challenge you to taste the bread.
Karl : This coupon is a $5 bill.
Abed Nadir : Well, that's all the time we have today. For Troy Barnes, I'm Abed Nadir.
Troy Barnes : And for Abed Nadir, I'm Troy Barnes.
Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : And we're out.
Abed Nadir : Thanks so much for doing this.
Karl : So will you be on my podcast tomorrow?
Troy Barnes : We've got a thing.
Abed Nadir : Beep, boop, bow!
[presses key on laptop, smooth jazz begins playing]