- [first lines]
- Leo Dooley: Pssst! Hey, guys, you ever have that nightmare where you're standing in the middle of the school in nothing but your birthday suit? Well, IT'S HAPPENING TO ME!
- Leo Dooley: [revealing himself wearing nothing but a towel and socks] Someone stole my clothes while I was in the shower!
- Adam Davenport: Well, you know, when I lose something, I find it helps to ask yourself "where's the last place you saw it?"
- Leo Dooley: On my body.
- Adam Davenport: And you definitely checked there?
- Adam Davenport: Okay, that's it. It's time me and Trent had a talk. Now he's disrespecting my brother AND casual business attire!
- Trent: [as a locker slams] WHOA! Who's there? You don't know who you're messing with. I'm seven years older than everyone else here!
- Chase Davenport: How cool would it be if we proved that ghosts actually exist? This could be our only chance to capture him.
- Leo Dooley: Wait, wait. "Capture him?" What? You wanna keep him as a pet?
- Adam Davenport: Look, I'll play with him and help feed him but I'm NOT bagging his business.
- Chase Davenport: Enough games, Jasper. Show your face!
- Adam Davenport: Yeah! And you better have shaved that nasty beard!
- Mrs. Thistle: It wasn't funny twenty years ago and it's not funny now.
- Principal Perry: Attention, dandruff donkeys! Tomorrow is the homecoming dance and, if you don't have a date now, keep askin'. I love watching rejection!
- Bree Davenport: How many dances have you been to?
- Principal Perry: We're not goin' there, stick-pop!
- Chase Davenport: All right, Leo, I think Trent has had enough. We've been torturing him all day.
- Leo Dooley: One day! He's been bullying me for years - so cancel your Christmas plans, boys. We're workin'.
- [bang during a ghost hunt]
- Chase Davenport: What was that?
- Adam Davenport: Door closed.
- [bang of a circuit breaker being thrown]
- Leo Dooley: What was that?
- Adam Davenport: The lights went out.
- Chase Davenport, Leo Dooley: [exasperated] We know!
- Adam Davenport: Well, then stop askin'.