- Beckett Mariner: Uh, no-weapons policy in a death-trap zoo? Fucking genius.
- [to Ransom]
- Beckett Mariner: What's your problem?
- Jack Ransom: Do I really have to say it?
- Beckett Mariner: Wait, you think I let that thing out?
- Jack Ransom: You've been pulling insubordinate crap all day!
- Beckett Mariner: Oh, that is rich!
- Jack Ransom: You're the one who let a bone-eating monster out of its cage!
- Narj: Uh, Narj will make sure the moopsy is still attacking the door.
- Beckett Mariner: Yeah, I've been pushing your buttons, because I knew you were looking for a reason to demote me, and of course, it's for something I didn't even do.
- Jack Ransom: Wait, why would I want to demote you?
- Beckett Mariner: Gee, I dunno, how about our entire working relationship?
- Jack Ransom: What? I'm a good boss!
- Beckett Mariner: You stabbed me in the foot with a battle blade; you-you turned into a giant head and tried to eat me; you tried to trick me into messing up on that space elevator...
- Jack Ransom: That was an orbital lift!
- Beckett Mariner: And then, after you promised that you would believe in me, I heard you tell Shaxs in the gym that I wasn't gonna be your problem anymore!
- Jack Ransom: Wh-what? The gym? You heard that?
- Beckett Mariner: Ha! You admit it!
- Jack Ransom: All I meant is that you're not gonna be my problem because I'm not gonna take the bait with your insubordination!
- Beckett Mariner: Bait? What-what are you talking about?
- Jack Ransom: It's all in your file! You've been promoted a dozen times, then you always get demoted for acting out!
- Beckett Mariner: Yeah, 'cause I'm a, you know, I'm a free spirit!
- Jack Ransom: No, because you're manipulating your commanding officers. I'm gonna be the first one who doesn't fall for it. Trust me, it's not easy.
- Beckett Mariner: I do *not* try to get demoted!
- Jack Ransom: What have you been doing all day?
- Beckett Mariner: No, I was...
- [stammers]
- Beckett Mariner: Okay, fine, that was just today.
- Jack Ransom: You *always* do it!
- Beckett Mariner: No, I don't, I...
- [stammers]
- Beckett Mariner: Shut up. I... why would I do that?
- Jack Ransom: I don't know. But I'm sorry to say you still have my unwavering support, no matter how hard you make it.
- Beckett Mariner: [sighs] I didn't let the moopsy out.
- Jack Ransom: I believe you.
- Beckett Mariner: Okay. Thank you.
- Vrek: How did they detect us? Assassination plots against me are one thing, but sabotage? Is this your doing, Malok?
- Malok: How dare you! Of course I crave your demise but not like...
- Vrek: Silence! I've been stabbing commanders in the back since before your mother killed her first traitor. Wipe this crumb from our path, so I can focus on being suspicious.
- D'Vana Tendi: I don't know if I'm going to like not bunking five feet away from you. I mean, how will I sleep without someone muttering about the warp threshold?
- [the away team has come to a menagerie to rescue two humans]
- Jack Ransom: I know you're taking a hit losing these guys. We appreciate your positive attitude.
- Narj: Not to worry. My real moneymakers are the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers.
- [Narj indicates the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers' cage holding two terrifying-looking beasts with large teeth and screeching roars]
- Moopsy: [camera pans down to reveal a moopsy, a cute little creature outside the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers' cage. A Pyrithian Swamp Gobbler sees the moopsy, stops roaring, and backs away from the moopsy, whining with fear] Moopsy!
- Narj: [nonchalantly] Hmm?
- Narj: [suddenly terrified] Oh, fuck! The moopsy is free!
- Beckett Mariner: [mockingly] Oh, no, your cuddliest prisoner is loose. Whatever shall we do?
- Narj: You don't understand! Everything here is incredibly dangerous!
- Moopsy: [Moopsy climbs through an access panel into the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers' cage] Moopsy!
- Jack Ransom: Can't be worse than the swamp gobblers.
- Narj: Of course it's worse! They only gobble you. The moopsy drinks your bones!
- Beckett Mariner: How does something drink bones?
- Beckett Mariner: [Moopsy jumps on the back of a swamp gobbler, bites its neck, then sucks on it, causing the gobbler to collapse into a boneless mass of flesh] Holy fuck!
- Narj: Run! Run for your lives!
- [Moopsy attacks other Pyrithian Swamp Gobbler, drinks all of its bones]
- Jack Ransom, Beckett Mariner, Ensign Gary: [running from cage room, screaming]
- Moopsy: [casually waddling out of the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers' cage into the cage room] Moopsy!
- Beckett Mariner: I just wish we could've figured out how this little guy got out in the first place. I mean, it clearly wasn't Narj; dude was *brimming* with bones.
- Jack Ransom: Let's get these humans out of here. Starfleet Security can figure it out.
- Ensign Gary: Well, at least it wasn't our fault. You know, humans are always blamed for being dangerous,
- [Mariner eyes something suspiciously]
- Ensign Gary: but we don't have claws or fangs or...
- Beckett Mariner: Hey, that umbrella is upside down, yeah?
- [the panel falls off the wall, revealing what appear to be controls. The woman in the enclosure tries to hide it, resulting in the moopsy's door opening; Mariner closes it before the moopsy can escape again]
- Beckett Mariner: Did you fuckers rewire the moopsy door? You could've got us all killed!
- Jack Ransom: Wow. I guess humans really are the most dangerous game.
- Ensign Gary: Damn it.
- Beckett Mariner: Hey, Narj, what got you in the prison business, huh? Just a cruel weirdo who loves locking people up?
- Narj: A prison is a place for criminals. I've given these sweet creatures a safe home.
- Beckett Mariner: What about this little guy? He doesn't deserve to be in your fucked-up hobby.
- Narj: Hobby? The moopsy is Narj's favorite.
- Moopsy: Moopsy!
- Beckett Mariner: Do you imprison everything you like?
- Narj: Of course.
- Jack Ransom: [chuckles] Mariner, it's not our place to judge the menagerie. We're just here to pick up the humans.
- Beckett Mariner: No, *you're* here to collect humans; *I'm* here to *be* human, which means calling bullshit when I see it.
- Narj: Narj does not understand. Narj abides by Federation law.
- Jack Ransom: [chuckles] Don't worry about it. She's a firebrand, but I trust her with my life.
- Beckett Mariner: No, you're not getting in my head!
- [looks into the moopsy enclosure]
- Moopsy: [purrs, wiggles its butt as if preparing for a pounce] Moopsy!