Star Trek: Lower Decks (TV Series)

I Have No Bones Yet I Must Flee (2023)

Roan K. Lai: Moopsy

Quotes 

• [the away team has come to a menagerie to rescue two humans] 

  Jack Ransom : I know you're taking a hit losing these guys. We appreciate your positive attitude.

  Narj : Not to worry. My real moneymakers are the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers.

  [Narj indicates the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers' cage holding two terrifying-looking beasts with large teeth and screeching roars] 

  Moopsy : [camera pans down to reveal a moopsy, a cute little creature outside the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers' cage. A Pyrithian Swamp Gobbler sees the moopsy, stops roaring, and backs away from the moopsy, whining with fear]  Moopsy!

  Narj : [nonchalantly]  Hmm?

  Narj : [suddenly terrified]  Oh, fuck! The moopsy is free!

  Beckett Mariner : [mockingly]  Oh, no, your cuddliest prisoner is loose. Whatever shall we do?

  Narj : You don't understand! Everything here is incredibly dangerous!

  Moopsy : [Moopsy climbs through an access panel into the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers' cage]  Moopsy!

  Jack Ransom : Can't be worse than the swamp gobblers.

  Narj : Of course it's worse! They only gobble you. The moopsy drinks your bones!

  Beckett Mariner : How does something drink bones?

  Beckett Mariner : [Moopsy jumps on the back of a swamp gobbler, bites its neck, then sucks on it, causing the gobbler to collapse into a boneless mass of flesh]  Holy fuck!

  Narj : Run! Run for your lives!

  [Moopsy attacks other Pyrithian Swamp Gobbler, drinks all of its bones] 

  Jack Ransom , Beckett Mariner , Ensign Gary : [running from cage room, screaming] 

  Moopsy : [casually waddling out of the Pyrithian Swamp Gobblers' cage into the cage room]  Moopsy!

• Beckett Mariner : Hey, Narj, what got you in the prison business, huh? Just a cruel weirdo who loves locking people up?

  Narj : A prison is a place for criminals. I've given these sweet creatures a safe home.

  Beckett Mariner : What about this little guy? He doesn't deserve to be in your fucked-up hobby.

  Narj : Hobby? The moopsy is Narj's favorite.

  Moopsy : Moopsy!

  Beckett Mariner : Do you imprison everything you like?

  Narj : Of course.

  Jack Ransom : [chuckles]  Mariner, it's not our place to judge the menagerie. We're just here to pick up the humans.

  Beckett Mariner : No, *you're* here to collect humans; *I'm* here to *be* human, which means calling bullshit when I see it.

  Narj : Narj does not understand. Narj abides by Federation law.

  Jack Ransom : [chuckles]  Don't worry about it. She's a firebrand, but I trust her with my life.

  Beckett Mariner : No, you're not getting in my head!

  [looks into the moopsy enclosure] 

  Moopsy : [purrs, wiggles its butt as if preparing for a pounce]  Moopsy!