- Leo Dooley: I can't believe my science teacher says I'm always late to class.
- Adam Davenport: But you ARE always late to class.
- Leo Dooley: I know THAT, but I don't need it publicized.
- Chase Davenport: I'm engineered to be the smartest person on the planet, and I just got an A-minus. I've been relegated to the huddled, unwashed masses of minuses - like you!
- Bree Davenport: Chase, I know this must be hard for you but, I mean, look at the bright side - seeing you fall flat on your face is really fun for us.
- Chase Davenport: I have got to find a way to reclaim my superiority.
- Leo Dooley: Well, you could sign up for the Student of the Semester competition.
- Chase Davenport: What's that?
- Leo Dooley: Every semester, kids compete to see who can best improve the school. Whoever gets the most votes wins free pencils, a bumper sticker, and a cheesy picture of himself on the wall.
- Chase Davenport: And that cheesy picture will show everyone that my brilliance reigns supreme.
- Bree Davenport: What part of "hold on" did you not understand?
- Leo Dooley: I'm sorry. This was my first time going Bree-back riding.
- Chase Davenport: [handing out business cards] Vote for Chase for Student of the Semester. Here's my website where you can peruse my platform, marvel at my skills, or even play a game of Chase trivia where all the answers are about me.
- Ethan: Come on, Bree we'd better go or we won't get seats together - and when I'm minus you, I'm negative.
- Chase Davenport: [as Adam starts running away with the campaign] If I'm gonna compete with him, I have to start thinking like a simple-minded creature, one who goes through the day on basic instinct and random impulse, like a dog or a monkey or a sea slug.
- Ethan: Bree? Leo said you went home.
- Bree Davenport: What? He told me you were plucking your nose jungle.
- Chase Davenport: The only thing juicier than my burgers is what you're about to eat, which is a big, heaping pile of hot, tasty defeat.
- Adam Davenport: Oh, well, speaking of "defeat," care for a foot rub?
- [Adam gestures toward two chairs were students are getting foot massages]
- Chase Davenport: What's that?
- Adam Davenport: THAT is my two-minute massage stop, winning hearts and minds ten toes at a time.
- Chase Davenport: Ah, this is it, the moment we've all been waiting for.
- Adam Davenport: [gasps] They found a talking horse that fights crime?
- Adam Davenport: Hey, prepare yourself for the bitter taste of defeat, which I plan on spoon-feeding you in delightful bite-sized portions every single time I see you.
- Bree Davenport: Uh, Chase, something's not right with Adam's essay.
- Bree Davenport: [reading] "I should be Student of the Semester because I'm tall, I'm happy, and I will let you have dogs in the library."
- Chase Davenport: So, what's wrong with that?
- Bree Davenport: Adam would have misspelled library. Adam would have misspelled dogs!
- Chase Davenport: Hey, Adam, congratulations. The best man won. And it was wrong of me to make you feel like you weren't smart enough to win.
- Adam Davenport: Yes, it was. It was very scrumptious of you.
- Chase Davenport: "Presumptuous."
- Adam Davenport: That as well.
- [Chase doesn't appreciate Adam's efforts to help him win]
- Chase Davenport: I do not need a cheesy DJ setup.
- Adam Davenport: I know. That's why I brought you this AWESOME DJ setup.
- Adam Davenport: [into the mic] IT'S A LUNCHTIME DANCE PARTY! Go gravy! Go gravy! Go gravy! Go gravy! Go gravy! Go gravy! Go gravy! Go gravy! Go gravy! Go gravy! Woo!
- [Adam pulls up in the hallway driving a vehicle]
- Adam Davenport: Who wants a ride on the high school party bus? Whoo-ooo!
- Chase Davenport: Do yo honestly believe that giving kids rides to class is gonna make them want to vote for you?
- Adam Davenport: Who's goin' to class? We're just cruisin' the halls.
- [Chase and Adam must write essays to determine which one of them will be Student of the Semester]
- Chase Davenport: I can't believe we tied. Now we each have to write an essay to determine the winner!
- Adam Davenport: And when everyone at school reads my essay, I'm gonna be Student of the Semester
- Chase Davenport: Let me see that.
- [takes the binder Adam is writing in]
- Chase Davenport: It's just a bunch of badly drawn rocket ships.
- Adam Davenport: Yeah. Next page.
- Chase Davenport: [turns page] A tiny-headed guy with a big mouth?
- Adam Davenport: Yeah, that's you. Next page.
- Chase Davenport: [reading] "I, Adam Davenport, should be Student of the Semester." That's it?
- Adam Davenport: What? It's sharp and to the point. Took me 25 minutes.
- Chase Davenport: You know what? I'm not even worried, because the winner's gonna be the one who can write the best essay, and we all know that's me.
- Adam Davenport: You think you're so smart? Well, you may be a better writer, but I'm a better...
- Chase Davenport: That's right. You got nothing!
- Adam Davenport: No, I got this.
- [he fires heat vision at Chase, who blocks it with a force field]
- Chase Davenport: Oh, you think you're so cool because you have lasers? Well, guess what? I can fight back too!
- [he shrinks the force field and throws it into Adam, sending him flying]
- Adam Davenport: Aaaahhh!
- [charges at Chase]
- Adam Davenport: RRAAAAHHHH!
- Leo Dooley: Bree, should we do something?
- Bree Davenport: Nah. They're bionic brothers. It's how they roll.
- Chase Davenport: I guess I can't be perfect at everything.
- Bree Davenport: Chase, that's not true. You're not perfect at a lot of things.