- Leo Dooley: The answer is simple: If Sally's on a train traveling at a certain speed - X, she's gonna reach the curve at a certain speed - Y. All we need to do is multiple X by Y to find out if we have enough track left to stop.
- Chase Davenport: Okay... but what if Sally is sitting on enough nuclonium to reduce an entire city to a stain?
- Leo Dooley: Well, then Sally should've taken the bus!
- Leo Dooley: I can handle extreme cold.
- Donald Davenport: Leo, you get brain freeze from chewing mint gum.
- Chase Davenport: [panicking] What if Mr. Davenport gets caught in a traffic jam?
- Bree Davenport: In a helicopter?
- Chase Davenport: There could be BIRDS!
- Donald Davenport: Leo, just because you can't go on the train doesn't mean we can't have fun here. I'll... I'll pop in the Goober the Spunky Caboose DVD for ya!
- Leo Dooley: I'm fourteen.
- Donald Davenport: Okay, then pop it in YOURSELF!
- [first lines]
- Donald Davenport: Okay, guys, the next phase of your training is handling extreme climates, so we'll frost Chase, bake Bree and submerge Adam.
- Donald Davenport: [aside to Leo, about Adam's test] It's not part of the training. I just got one of those carnival dunk tanks and I can't wait to try it out.
- Donald Davenport: You know, when stuff like this happened, they always blamed the scientist. This is human error. Scientists don't make mistakes.
- [Chase, forgotten in light of the emergency, raps on the glass of his refrigerated tube to let Donald know he's freezing to death]
- Donald Davenport: The good news is: whenever I invent something, I always create a backup device to support it.
- Chase Davenport: As opposed to just building it right the first time.
- Donald Davenport: You know, I think I liked you better frozen.
- Donald Davenport: My auxiliary decelerator will stop anything - ocean liners, freight trains, tanks, eighteen-wheelers, twelve-wheelers...
- Leo Dooley: Does it stop unnecessarily long explanations?
- Donald Davenport: [slowly while glaring at Leo] Apparently so.
- Donald Davenport: [emotionally] I can't believe I'm saying this - it's time to upgrade your mission suits.
- Adam Davenport: I HOPE you addressed the chafing problem.
- Donald Davenport: We'll be able to use these earpieces to communicate, and I'll monitor your progress on the train surveillance system. That way, if you blow yourselves up in a fiery explosion, I can watch it unfold in glorious HD.
- [pause]
- Donald Davenport: That came out wrong.
- Chase Davenport: Aw, Adam, it looks like you spilled something on your new suit, too.
- Adam Davenport: What? I just got this thing. Hey, quit flicking me. I'm trying to find the stain.
- Leo Dooley: Which way's the dining car? I'd like to get a bite to eat before I... SAVE THE TOWN OF WELKERVILLE!
- Adam Davenport: But, Leo, you're NOT like us - and I don't mean that in a bad way. We just have really cool, super-fun features and you don't.
- Donald Davenport: Leo! I'm s'posed to be watching you!
- Leo Dooley: [on the monitor] And you ARE, in glorious HD.
- Donald Davenport: Wow! How many guys can say that they have chased their high-speed train in their high-speed helicopter? I'm awesome!
- Bree Davenport: Leo, this is too dangerous for you.
- Leo Dooley: Please. My middle name is "Danger."
- Adam Davenport: Thought it was "Francis."
- Leo Dooley: [levelly] It's pronounced "Danger."
- Leo Dooley: I just spent four hours in a bag without a bathroom. I think my support goes without saying.
- Chase Davenport: If you didn't waste your life watching cartoons every day, we might all be dead right now.
- [News jingle plays and Tasha introduces herself]
- Tasha Davenport: I'm Tasha Davenport, reporting here about the...
- Man: [shouts] Fore!
- [Golf ball hits the cameraman, knocks out him and collapses to the floor]
- Tasha Davenport: Oh, my Gosh, Roger!
- Tasha Davenport: [gets down] Is the camera okay?
- [News jingle plays again, except with the screen totally dark]
- Tasha Davenport: [shouts to the cameraman] LENS CAP!