- Harry Vanderspeigle: Humans spend most of their lives searching for something. Some days, it's a Grey hybrid alien who stole your bomb. The next day, it's car keys.
- General Eleanor Wright: I spent my entire life looking for aliens so that I can kill them all and rid this Earth of all you monsters.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: This is my safe space. I'm feeling not safe.
- Asta Twelvetrees: It was D'arcy.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: She would not steal a bomb. There is not even any vodka in it.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: I'm going to stick my hand up your ass and puppet you like you belong on public television.
- Asta Twelvetrees: Joseph, please. Look, I... I know that there is a human part of you that cares. I saw it the night that we went out. You know, before you threatened to kill me.
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: Some people think the most efficient form of human transportation is rolling.
- Deputy Liv Baker: Are you the some in "some people"?
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: Well, let's just say when I was in fifth grade, I did 40 miles per hour rolling down Pike's Hill. My elbows, they still sound like a bag of chains when I do push-ups. And I ain't talking 50¢ pieces. I'm talking dimes.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: We have a joke on my planet. What is the best way to cloak a ship above Earth? You do not need to, because humans are too afraid to look up. It is funnier in my language.
- General Eleanor Wright: Who would steal the bomb?
- Harry Vanderspeigle: Joseph. He must have slipped in while I was sleeping. Handsome people. They think they can just do anything.
- Detective Lena Torres: There's no such thing as aliens. It's just disinformation spread by the government to cover up their gene-splicing program.
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: Finally. Somebody gets it.