- Eric Cartman: Love is like taking a dump, Butters; sometimes it works itself out, but sometimes you got to give it a nice hard slimey push.
- Eric Cartman: There's something you should probably know. Man, this is hard. Um, the thing is, me and Kyle are kind of, you know, together.
- [trying to stir Nicole away from Kyle, whom she has a crush on]
- Nichole: Ooohhh.
- Eric Cartman: Yeah, he's my man. I'm more out than Kyle is, but it sucks because he acts like we're not a couple at school because he's embarrassed, but when we get home and he's the best boyfriend I've ever had.
- Nichole: Wow, I'm sorry. I totally respect that. Hey, thanks a lot for telling me.
- [puts an arm on his left shoulder]
- Eric Cartman: Cool. So, just, you know, don't touch me 'cause I'm not into girls and it kind of grosses me out.
- Nichole: Oh, I'm sorry.
- [retracts her arm]
- Eric Cartman: Yeah, cool. Anyway, thanks a lot, and, you know, stay away from my man, bitch.
- [snaps a finger and walks away]
- Eric Cartman: [as Token hugs Nicole, Cartman is touched]
- [sweetly]
- Eric Cartman: Ohhhhh my God.
- Cupid Me: [pops out of Cartman's head] We did it, Eric. We found them each other's ray of sunshine.
- Eric Cartman: You're my ray of sunshine, Cupid Me.
- [tickles the little cupid]
- Cupid Me: Teeheeheehee.
- [pops back into Cartman's head, leaving behind a trail of hearts]