Community (TV Series)
Regional Holiday Music (2011)
Alison Brie: Annie Edison
Photos
Quotes
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Abed Nadir : Britta.
Britta Perry : [gasps] Is this about regionals?
Abed Nadir : I just talked to Cory, and he needs you to be the mouse king instead of me.
Britta Perry : Me? But I'm supposed to be a mute tree.
Abed Nadir : It's an emergency.
Britta Perry : Hmm?
Abed Nadir : This will help us get to regionals!
Britta Perry : I knew it! Wait, what are the lyrics?
Abed Nadir : They're in your heart, Britta.
Britta Perry : Right. Duh doy!
Annie Edison , Troy Barnes , Jeff Winger , Pierce Hawthorne , Shirley Bennett : [singing in unison] we are everyone, and we are everything
Britta Perry : [Britta comes out on stage singing poorly] Christmas time!
Cory Radison : What the...?
Dean Pelton : Oh, Britta's in this?
Britta Perry : [stomping her feet off-time] I got a Christmas time for me / I got a Christmas time for a tree
Cory Radison : No! She's ruining it!
Britta Perry : Christmas / Christmas time / me so Christmas, me so merry
Cory Radison : [charges the stage] No, stop, stop, stop, stop! What are you doing? Get off the stage!
Britta Perry : [speaking] I'm singing my heart's song.
Cory Radison : Get off the stage, and never sing again! You are the worst!
Jeff Winger : Hey!
Troy Barnes : You do not get to call Britta "the worst!"
Audience : Yeah! Let her finish!
Dean Pelton : Mr. Radison, I think it's fine. I know Greendale is an all-inclusive school. Why don't we let Britta sing her awkward song?
Audience : Yeah!
[cheering]
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Annie Edison : I'll be at the movies with my bubbe.
Troy Barnes : You're not taking both of them?
Annie Edison : Well, one's dead.
Troy Barnes : What?
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Annie Edison : I feel like we let Mr. Rad down.
Jeff Winger : No, he let himself down by coming in this morning wearing a sweater vest.
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Troy Barnes : We expected this from the others, but you, Pierce? Your generation invented music.
Pierce Hawthorne : Well, I wouldn't say invented. Perfected, maybe.
Annie Edison : Pierce! They're just trying to pander to your demographics' well-documented historical vanity. Resist!
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Annie Edison : Wow. They found a way to make the human being even creepier. Covering him in icicles.
Shirley Bennett : I think it's festive.
Jeff Winger : Yeah, my favorite Christmas tradition is trimming the hellraiser.
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Annie Edison : Where's our table?
Pierce Hawthorne : And who's that guy?
[we see a man sitting behind a piano]
Pierce Hawthorne : You all see him too, right?
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Troy Barnes : This guy's like human froyo.
Cory Radison : Look, when the last glee club died in that bus crash, you guys stepped up. And you were the best gosh darn emergency substitutes I've ever worked with.
Shirley Bennett : Aw!
Cory Radison : Well, this time... I'm not gonna kid you. I won't be easy.
Dean Pelton : Oh.
Cory Radison : Your best... won't be good enough. And ten times your best will be so bad, I will yell at you. But I promise, if we dig down...
Jeff Winger : Pass.
Troy Barnes , Shirley Bennett , Annie Edison , Pierce Hawthorne , Britta Perry , Abed Nadir : [in unison] Yeah.
Cory Radison : Okay.
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Jeff Winger : Annie, you too? This is beneath you. You are an intelligent woman. Also, you're Jewish!
Annie Edison : [Flirtatiously] I guess I have a lot to learn about holiday tradition.
[Upbeat piano tune]
Annie Edison : [Betty Boop voice singing] Teach me how to understand Christmas / show me how to open a box / it hurts my little head / when I'm lying in my bed / with visions of sugarplum socks
Jeff Winger : Is this a bit?
Annie Edison : Teach me how to understand Christmas / do I trim the tree / or the deer? / I can't keep it straight / and now it's getting late / where does the stocking go? / Here?
[speaking voice]
Annie Edison : I can't see!
[Betty Boop voice singing]
Annie Edison : What's a Christmas Eve? / is that Santa's lady? / are snowmen cold or hot? / won't you be my daddy? / I'm a silly Christmas baby / tell me what to deck /
[Giggles]
Annie Edison : 'cause I forgot
Jeff Winger : Annie.
Annie Edison : Ooh! "Bwain" hurt-y, understand-y "cwistmas" / mistletoe for eat-y, taste good?" / You smarty, me dumb / help "pwetty" have fun / boopy doopy doop boop / sex
[cymbal strike]
Jeff Winger : Look, eventually, you hit a point of diminishing returns on the sexiness.
Annie Edison : What's a dimin...
[gibberish]
Annie Edison : ?