Dumb and Dumber To (2014)

Kathleen Turner: Fraida

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lloyd Christmas : [Harry and Lloyd mistake Freida as her daughter]  Suck me sideways!

  Harry Dunne : You're the spitting image of her!

  Fraida Felcher : You morons! This is the return address. Her's is on the side with the stamp.

  Lloyd Christmas : But it's still uncanny!

• Harry Dunne : Okay, Dr. Picasso, what's your definition of sex?

  Fraida Felcher : Well...

  [whispers to Harry and Lloyd] 

  Lloyd Christmas : No way! That's just... Not my mom! Ew!

  Harry Dunne : But that's where she pees!

  Lloyd Christmas : It's in my head, and I can't unlearn it! You're bad!

  Harry Dunne : Can you show us?

  Lloyd Christmas : I call sloppy seconds.

• Harry Dunne : Let me ask you something Freida. If I'm not Penny's father and Lloyd's not her father then who's her father?

  Fraida Felcher : Funny you should ask.

  [to Penny] 

  Fraida Felcher : Honey how would uou like to meet some relatives?

  [Points towards the Stainers] 

  Lloyd Christmas : Mr Stainer? I should have known. You horny old goat!

  Fraida Felcher : No Lloyd. Mr Stainer is Penny's grandfather.

  Harry Dunne : You mean Pee Stain's the dad?

  Lloyd Christmas : Duh!

• Lloyd Christmas : Cheers!

  Fraida Felcher : Whoa! Wait. Where'd you get that?

  Lloyd Christmas : The Slurpee machine in the back.

  Fraida Felcher : That's embalming fluid.

  Lloyd Christmas : Oh. Does it have aspartame?

  Fraida Felcher : No.

  Lloyd Christmas : Cool.

• Fraida Felcher : Yeah, but, Lloyd, Lloyd. She isn't your daughter either.

  Lloyd Christmas : Nice try, Fraida. But Penny read me the letter. I know all about Oyster Swallow Cove, which is exactly where you took me in the van!

  Fraida Felcher : So? That was my spot. I must've taken hundred of guys there. What can I say. I was a titanic whore.

• Fraida Felcher : So, guys, there's still one thing I don't understand. How could either of you have possibly thought that you were Penny's father?

  Harry Dunne : Well, why wouldn't we?

  Lloyd Christmas : Yeah!

  Fraida Felcher : Because we never had sex.

  Lloyd Christmas : Oh. Yeah. Well, you could've fooled us.

  Harry Dunne : Yeah, nice try, Snow White. Does the word "hot tub" jog your memory? If I recall, I played with your boobies for a long time that night. The mother boat, the windshield wipers, the punching bag.

  Fraida Felcher : You know Harry, you can't get a woman pregnant by manhandling her breasts.

  Harry Dunne : Oh, really? Well, then, why'd your doorbells get so hard?

  Lloyd Christmas : Yeah. And did you forget about the French tickler in the back of the van?

  Fraida Felcher : Putting a frilly glow-in-the-dark condom on your finger is not the same as having sex.

  Lloyd Christmas : What if I go like this?

  Lloyd Christmas : [wiggles his finger] 

  Fraida Felcher : No.

• Fraida Felcher : Look, guys. It's me. Fraida Felcher.

  Lloyd Christmas : Yeah, right. Like we'd be fighting over those blowfish jowls. No offense.

  Fraida Felcher : Harry, Lloyd, I'm gonna say this one more time. I'm Fraida.

  Lloyd Christmas : [whispers to Harry]  Tattoo.

  Harry Dunne : Oh, yeah. Then show us your tattoo. 'Cause Fraida had a cute little smiley face on her back, right above her bikini line. Well?

  [Fraida shows her tattoo] 

  Harry Dunne : Hmm. It's close.

  Lloyd Christmas : Mmm.

  [Fraida pushes up the smiley face] 

  Lloyd Christmas : Oh. Hi, Fraida.

  Harry Dunne : Oh, hey! How ya been?

  Lloyd Christmas : Have you been doing yoga?