Community (TV Series)
Studies in Modern Movement (2011)
Donald Glover: Troy Barnes
Photos
Quotes
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Troy Barnes : There are a couple of things we're hoping you'll help us with.
Abed Nadir : Yes. Like where does the water go in the iron?
Troy Barnes : And what's the iron for?
Abed Nadir : And what gets out Kool-Aid stains?
Troy Barnes : We already know the opposite color Kool-Aid doesn't work.
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Troy Barnes : Hear me, hear me!
[trumpeting]
Abed Nadir : Presenting the real-life fairy tale of how princess Annie was saved from bad neighborhood forest by woodsman Troy.
[grunts]
Abed Nadir : And Bebad, his emotionally unavailable unicorn.
[neighs]
Abed Nadir : [Annie laughs]
Troy Barnes : Brought to you by the girl-yogurt Jamie Lee Curtis uses to poop.
[flatulence]
Abed Nadir : There's a package of it in the fridge as a welcoming gift.
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Abed Nadir : I am not surprised you're so taken aback. This apartment is where dreams come true.
Troy Barnes : We spent our whole lives being told that blanket forts are only for special occasions, like sleepovers or when uncles die. That's a lie, Annie. You can live in a fort of blankets all day, every night.
Annie Edison : It's so awesome. I'm surprised you guys haven't chosen to live in one.
Abed Nadir : Well, we'll be spending enough time in yours. I mean, it's where we're gonna watch tv.
Annie Edison : Right. Uh, what's that door over there? That's not a bedroom?
Abed Nadir : No.
Troy Barnes : [chuckles] Oh, no, no, no.
Annie Edison : Is it a linen closet?
Troy Barnes : Something like that. What's a linen closet?
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Annie Edison : And you guys are hoarding this second bedroom as some kind of playroom? And making me sleep on a pile of laundry?
Troy Barnes : Hey, we worked hard on that. And it's a blanket fort.
Annie Edison : It's an asylum for half-witted children! As the only adult in this apartment, I am making an ultimatum. Me or this... stupid dreamatorium.
Abed Nadir : Dreamatorium is non-negotiable. Read the lease.
Troy Barnes : Especially the part we added in crayon. You don't wanna take this to court. Trust us, this place can be a courtroom in the blink of an eye.
[Abed snaps his fingers]
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Annie Edison : I'm sick of this crap! Enjoy your stupid dreamatorium.
[storms out]
Troy Barnes : [angrily calls after] We will! Because this is our apartment, too! And just because we're awesome doesn't mean we're not adults!
[slams door]
Abed Nadir : Candy cigarette?
Troy Barnes : I don't want a candy cigarette. I want our Annie.
Abed Nadir : Yeah, we blew it.
Troy Barnes : [takes candy cigarette from cigarette case] I picked the wrong week to quit.
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Abed Nadir : Also, Troy scraped me when we were fork-jousting last week and I don't think it's healing right.
Annie Edison : Oh.
Britta Perry : Ew!
Annie Edison : Abed, that's infected.
Troy Barnes : Infected. That's the word I was looking for.
Jeff Winger : Hi, guys.
Annie Edison : I thought you were sick.
Jeff Winger : I was... n't. I kind of made it up to get out of helping.
Britta Perry : Oh, that's okay.
Jeff Winger : It is?
Britta Perry : Yeah, it is. Oh! Hey, Jeff, did you know that when it snows my eyes become large?
Abed Nadir , Britta Perry , Troy Barnes , Shirley Bennett : [singing] and the light that you shine can be seen...
Jeff Winger : He tweeted it?
Abed Nadir , Britta Perry , Troy Barnes , Shirley Bennett : Baby...
Jeff Winger : [wails] He tweeted it!
Abed Nadir , Britta Perry , Troy Barnes , Shirley Bennett : I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray
Dean Pelton : [singing] and now that your rose is in bloom / a light hits the gloom on the gray
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Troy Barnes : We're sorry. Sometimes we get stuck in our own little world. And then in that world, we make even littler worlds. And sometimes there are tunnels between those worlds. Or a subway. One time a snake. We're sorry. Do you like it?
Annie Edison : Of course, I do. It's perfect. I mean, I can rearrange the throw pillows. You have them arranged by size instead of color, but...
Abed Nadir : [to Shirley] What did I say?
[Shirley looks askance]
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Abed Nadir : Welcome, Annie, to your new home. Okay... to reacquaint you, there's the bathroom, kitchen, and, of course, our bedroom. And if the room's a rockin' please come a knockin' because there's something probably terribly wrong.
Troy Barnes : Yeah, we're pretty chill in there.
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Abed Nadir : Oh, look out, asteroids!
Troy Barnes : That was close. Thanks for getting us to planet Greendalia safely, horsebot 3000.
Abed Nadir : [neighs] Well...
Annie Edison : Oh, no! Greendalia has been overrun by evil King Blorgon!
Abed Nadir : Look out, Troyborg! Pew pew pew! Ah! I'm dead.
Troy Barnes : Horsebot 3000, no! I love you!
Abed Nadir : I am King Blorgon and my plan is to blow up the world! Your lasers are useless against me.
Troy Barnes : Aim for his butt. It's his only weakness. Pew pew! Bam bam!
Abed Nadir : Aah!
Annie Edison : We did it! Peace and tranquility have been restored to Greendalia.
Troy Barnes : All thanks to horsebot 3000. He belongs to the stars now.
[neighs]
Britta Perry : All right, five more minutes and we should probably put a stop to this, right? Jeff, are you...
Jeff Winger : [choked up] I liked horsebot 3000.
