Community (TV Series)
Studies in Modern Movement (2011)
Brendan Hunt: Hitchhiker
Photos
Quotes
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Hitchhiker : [singing] Jesus loves marijuana / Jesus loves marijuana
Britta Perry : Amen.
Hitchhiker : Jesus loves marijuana / and drinking human blood, ohh
[Britta and Shirley look at each other askance]
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Britta Perry : Yeah, but your religion isn't the same as morality and calling me amoral because I'm atheistic is religious persecution.
Shirley Bennett : How can I religiously persecute you? You don't have a religion.
Britta Perry : Oh, look! A hitchhiker. A person in need. Oh, my God. What am I doing? I'm pulling over to help him out.
Shirley Bennett : Do not help him out.
Britta Perry : Why, because it proves the existence of secular morality?
[smiling]
Shirley Bennett : No, because he looks stinky.
Britta Perry : Judge not, Shirley. Judge not.
Hitchhiker : I really appreciate it, thank you.
Britta Perry : Where are you headed, fellow human?
Hitchhiker : Riverside Falls?
Shirley Bennett : That's 40 minutes away.
Britta Perry : Oh, I guess I'm just a really good person.
Hitchhiker : I knew you were. I could see the kindness in your faces. I assume you've both accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?
[Britta's smile fades]
Shirley Bennett : [smiling] Oh, that's nice.
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Hitchhiker : And that's when I realized I had to forgive them.
Shirley Bennett : That's a beautiful story. So inspiring how he came to find the lord. Isn't it, Britta?
Britta Perry : Yeah, yeah.
Hitchhiker : Well, I didn't exactly have to find the lord. He was inside me.
Shirley Bennett : Amen! What's your name, friend?
Hitchhiker : Jesus.
Shirley Bennett : Oh. Are you L... latino?
Hitchhiker : No, my child. I am him.
Shirley Bennett : You're what now?
Hitchhiker : I am the one true son of God. I was sent here to save humanity.
Shirley Bennett : [under her breath] Oh, no.
Britta Perry : Well, it is a pleasure to have you in my car, Jesus.
Shirley Bennett : Britta, stop. It's not funny now.
Britta Perry : Hey Jesus, just curious, what's your position on marijuana?
Hitchhiker : It was given to us by God. It should be legal.
Britta Perry : Oh, that's nice.
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Hitchhiker : Thank you. Thank you very much. Now, with your permission, I'd like to sing a little song about race-mixing. This one's called "Don't You Do It."
Britta Perry , Shirley Bennett : [brakes lock] Get out!