Identity Thief (2013)
Jason Bateman: Sandy Patterson
Photos
Quotes
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Sandy Patterson : Do you know what a sociopath is?
Diana : Do they like ribs?
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Sandy Patterson : You're diabolical.
Diana : Thank you.
Sandy Patterson : That's not a compliment.
Diana : I know.
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Sandy Patterson : I said no jewelry.
Diana : Oh, were you serious?
Sandy Patterson : Yeah.
Diana : You've got to work on your tone.
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Sandy Patterson : Friends don't steal friends' identities, do they?
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Sandy Patterson : Now, I have allotted us each $8 per meal, so it looks like you can get one of the...
[gets attention from the Waitress]
Sandy Patterson : One of the salads or a soup or...
[to the waitress]
Sandy Patterson : Sorry, I'm quick. The tomato soup for me, please. That'll do.
Diana : I'm gonna take a full slab of the baby backs, and I'm going to take that with mashed taters, hushpuppies, and I'm going get a... I'm going to have sweet tea.
Sandy Patterson : The fuck you are.
Diana : [chuckles] I don't know what that means.
Sandy Patterson : I asked you to eat less food.
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Diana : [In front of Sandy and Trish's preschool-aged daughters, during visitation] Some of these dykes are still really getting up into my sweet junk, but I don't let 'em.
Trish Patterson : Um, girls, "s-sweet junk" is just...
Sandy Patterson : ...dessert. She's having a problem in the mess hall.
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Sandy Patterson : Hi. Good morning. Something wrong with pump five. It's not taking my card.
[Luis swipes card]
Sandy Patterson : Thanks.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant : [Speaks Spanish to hearing device and then turns to Sandy] You don't pay your bills, man. I gotta cut the card.
Sandy Patterson : Cut the card. No, I absolutely pay my bills. Run it one more time. Nothing wrong with that card.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant : That's not what it says right here.
Sandy Patterson : I don't care what the screen says. Maybe it's broken. I'll go somewhere else. You're not cutting that card.
[Luis speaks Spanish once more]
Sandy Patterson : Cutting the card? That's ridiculous. Tell you what, I'll go somewhere else.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant : You go somewhere else? Look, that's my papi. He owns this store. He says cut the card.
Sandy Patterson : Señor...
Luis the Gas Station Attendant : If you don't pay your bills...
Sandy Patterson : My bills are paid.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant : Oh, your bills are paid. I gotta cut the card.
Sandy Patterson : Do not cut the card.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant : I'm gonna cut the card.
[he cuts the card]
Luis the Gas Station Attendant : I just cut the card. Go pay your bills, Randy.
Sandy Patterson : It's Sandy.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant : Sandy?
[mocks in Spanish]
