- Phil: Nikki, Nikki, Nikki!
- Nikki: Do you mind, Phil? I'm working here.
- Phil: Oh, you are? Really? You're working?
- Nikki: It's a slow night, Phil.
- Phil: That don't answer my question. Why isn't some john motherfucker tonguing your asshole? Do I have to see it with my own eyes to know that you're fucking for me?
- Nikki: Well, let's just hope the people I meet tonight do it just like that. That'll cost the sick fucks a little extra.
- Phil: Those sick fucks are paying for your shitty rent and my brand new fucking suit, and let me tell you, my brand new suit is starting to feel a little old. Go fuck your brains out, twat!
- [Phil leaves]
- The Scalper: What's the matter? The dead are the best people in the world. I mean, they're completely harmless, they don't do anything, they don't cause any trouble, they don't tell me what to do, they just mind their own business, and best of all, they're free. They just lie there; I mean, can't fuck them anymore cause they don't wanna fuck. But you sure feel free to take anything else you want from 'em. Like their hair; their beautiful gorgeous hair. Alive or dead, the hair still smells fucking fantastic. It's the only thing worth keeping. Everything else just rots away.
- [first lines]
- Donna Diggs: How long you been asleep? Three hours? Four hours?
- Martin: About two and a half hours.
- Donna Diggs: It's getting better.
- Martin: As long as I keep having that dream, I still feel like shit.
- Donna Diggs: So, think of how refreshed and well-rested I'm gonna look in an hour. I'm gonna look like I just fucked the living hell out of pure sunshine.
- Mindy: Masks.
- Donna Diggs: Masks?
- Mindy: Like, I make them wear masks, like ski masks, anything, I don't care. It's the only way I'll fuck these people.
- Donna Diggs: Okay, why?
- Mindy: Because when they have on these masks, I'm fucking the same person every time. When I come home every morning, you know, to fuck the same guy that I fuck, I don't feel bad about it. You know why? 'Cause in my head, I've been fucking him all night long.
- Donna Diggs: That's relatively smart, actually.
- Monica: So just who the fuck are you?
- Det. Rick Wilson: I am the man...
- [Rick giggles]
- Det. Rick Wilson: ...that's gonna kill the fucking Scalper.
- Monica: Why are you going to kill the fucking Scalper?
- Det. Rick Wilson: Cause I am Detective Rick Fucking Wilson!
- Monica: Wow, a detective. Are you going to fucking arrest me?
- Det. Rick Wilson: I can think of a better idea.
- Phil: You know what I do when my girls run into a pile of shit? I have my guys run the motherfuckers over. then I punch those fucking twats in their fucking jaw, so that I don't have to spend my time dealing with their assbag clients. But you! You're too fucking nice!
- Det. Rick Wilson: You know I was more than that.
- Donna Diggs: No, when you attempted to pay me in cocaine, you were less.
- Det. Rick Wilson: That's not me.
- Donna Diggs: Rick, you're fucking high right now! I can see it in your eyes! Where the fuck do you get this shit from, anyway? The evidence room?
- Donna Diggs: Time is money, baby.
- Car John: I want you to act like you're sucking my cock.
- Donna Diggs: That's all you want, baby? You know I'll do anything.
- Car John: Anything?
- Donna Diggs: Aside from taking a shit on your chest or taking a piss in your mouth. I'm not a fucking Nazi, so, uh, you want a golden shower, you might have to get yourself to Fort Knox.
- Car John: Well, maybe now, I want to be pissed on. Now I want to be shit on.
- Donna Diggs: I'd rather pretend like I'm sucking your cock. Baby, I can tell you really need it. I wouldn't want to let something that hot go to waste with the idea of feces.
- [Car john grabs Donna's head]
- Car John: Right now, I don't care about feces, bitch! I wanna taste your fucking urine!
- [suddenly, Rick grabs the Car John, bangs her head on the steering wheel, and holds her at gunpoint]
- Det. Rick Wilson: If it's piss you want, motherfucker, then go down to the bar at the corner of Fifth and Main. Tell them that you want the special, and that Detective Rick Wilson sent you, so that the next time I see you, your teeth will be stained fucking yellow, and if they aren't, I'll take a shit in your mouth myself, and fill your cavities my own goddamn way!