- Leslie Higgins: [on finding out Jack Danvers is a woman] Oh, it's like that old riddle.
- Rebecca Welton: What riddle?
- Leslie Higgins: You know, always a tricky one, this one. A father and son are in a car wreck. Dad dies instantly, the son is rushed to an emergency room. A surgeon walks in and says, "I can't operate on this boy. He's my son." How is it possible?
- Keeley Jones: Because she's a woman.
- Rebecca Welton: He's gay.
- Barbara: Sperm donor.
- Shandy Fine: He lives in a simulation?
- Leslie Higgins: [pause] Right. Yeah, I guess that's a bit dated now.
- Rupert Mannion: Lovely to see you again.
- Rebecca Welton: [lowers her voice] I saw you with you assistant. Your daughter deserves better, and so does Bex. Stop fucking around.
- Michelle Lasso: [on a video call with Ted] Henry's not here right now. He's at a birthday party. But I'll...
- Ted Lasso: No, that's okay. I was actually hoping just to chat with you. You got a minute?
- Michelle Lasso: Sure. Is everything okay?
- Ted Lasso: Yeah, yeah. Well... no. You know, I just, um... I wanted to say something real quick. Look, I... I know that you and I aren't, you know, together anymore. And I respect that, okay? I do. Um... But... well, you know, this whole thing with you and Dr. Jacob really ticks me off. And I'm upset that we didn't ever really get to talk about it before it all started. Yeah. And look, I understand that me saying all this might be the wrong thing to do, but... I just feel like not saying it... isn't the... well, wouldn't be the right thing either. 'Cause we gotta raise this little boy together, you know? We're stuck with each other. We're gonna share grandkids. I love you, Michelle. And I love Henry. And I love our family. No matter what it looks like. Okay?
- Ted Lasso: Hey, boss. What you doing down here?
- Rebecca Welton: I just wanted to tell you that I believe in you, Ted.
- Ted Lasso: [confused] Uh-huh?
- Rebecca Welton: And I know that I've been putting an awful lot of pressure on you to win today, but I just want you to forget all about that. Just be yourself and have fun.
- Ted Lasso: Okay. Okay. Well, thank you.
- [Rebecca grabs Ted by the arms, eyes wide and smile tightening]
- Rebecca Welton: I *believe* in you, Ted.
- Ted Lasso: [nervously] And it's intense. I better go.
- Rebecca Welton: Off you pop.
- [Ted turns and starts down the hall]
- Rebecca Welton: [shouting manically] Remember! Have fun! Woo-hoo! Yes! This is so exciting!
- Rebecca Welton: Everything okay?
- Ted Lasso: [hesitates] Am I a mess?
- Rebecca Welton: Of course you are. That's why we get along.
- [Ted laughs]
- Rebecca Welton: And I wish I could tell you to ignore Sass, but... she's usually right.
- Ted Lasso: So Sassy already told you about the... Of course. Girl talk.
- Rebecca Welton: Girl talk. So, is everything all right?
- Ted Lasso: Yeah, I'm good.
- Rebecca Welton: Oklahoma?
- [pause]
- Ted Lasso: I'm a work in "prog-mess".
- Arlo White: [Commentating from the sidelines into TV sports microphones] Should be a tight match, Chris. Any predictions?
- Chris Powell: I stopped making predictions, Arlo. Because I was never wrong. Got to the point that I was worried I was the one making things happen.
- Arlo White: Well, that's interesting.
- Chris Powell: [Knowingly] I knew you'd say that.
- Zava: [Before the big match] My friend, you can be whoever you want to be. I let all of my children name themselves once they reach the age of seven. That is why my eldest is called "Smingus Dingus."
- Arlo White: SPOILER:
- [Commentating at the end of the game]
- Arlo White: Richmond showed a side of themselves we've never seen before. They played angry, dirty and ugly.
- Chris Powell: Which are also the names of Zava's three youngest kids.