Sherlock (TV Series)

A Scandal in Belgravia (2012)

Nathan Harmer: Phil

Quotes 

• [Holmes is conferring with Watson from Baker Street, via webcam] 

  Sherlock Holmes : Now, show me the car that backfired.

  Dr. John Watson : It's there.

  Sherlock Holmes : That's the one that made the noise, yes?

  Dr. John Watson : Yeah. If you're thinking gunshot, there wasn't one. He wasn't shot, he was killed by a single blow to the back of the head from a blunt instrument, which then magically disappeared, along with the killer. It's got to be an eight, at least.

  DI Carter : [interjecting]  You've got two more minutes, they want to know more about the driver.

  Sherlock Holmes : Oh, forget him, he's an idiot. Why else would he think himself a suspect?

  DI Carter : *I* think he's a suspect.

  Sherlock Holmes : Pass me over.

  Dr. John Watson : All right, but there's a mute button and I *will* use it.

  Sherlock Holmes : Now, up a bit! I'm not talking from down here!

  Dr. John Watson : [to DI Carter]  Okay, just take it, take it.

  [Carter takes the laptop] 

  Sherlock Holmes : Having driven to an isolated location and successfully committed a crime without a single witness, why would he then call the police and consult a detective? Fair play?

  DI Carter : He's trying to be clever. It's over-confidence.

  Sherlock Holmes : [sighs]  Did you see him? Morbidly obese, the undisguised halitosis of a single man living on his own. The right sleeve of an internet porn addict and the breathing pattern of an untreated heart condition, low self-esteem, tiny IQ, and a limited life expectancy and you think he's an audacious criminal mastermind?

  [looking over his shoulder at the Phil, the driver, sitting behind him] 

  Sherlock Holmes : Don't worry, this is just stupid.

  Phil : What did you say? Heart what?