Sherlock (TV Series)

A Scandal in Belgravia (2012)

Mark Gatiss: Mycroft Holmes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. Hudson : It's a disgrace, sending your little brother into danger like that. Family is all we have in the end, Mycroft Holmes.

  Mycroft Holmes : Oh, shut up, Mrs. Hudson!

  Sherlock Holmes : [furious]  Mycroft!

  Dr. John Watson : Hey!

  Mycroft Holmes : [long pause]  Apologies.

  Mrs. Hudson : Thank you.

  Sherlock Holmes : Though do, in fact, shut up.

• Dr. John Watson : [notes Sherlock wrapped in a bed sheet]  You wearing any pants?

  Sherlock Holmes : No.

  Dr. John Watson : Okay.

  [Holmes and Watson glance at each other and burst into laughter] 

  Dr. John Watson : At Buckingham Palace. Right. Oh, oh, I am seriously fighting an impulse to steal an ashtray.

  [chuckles with Sherlock] 

  Dr. John Watson : What are we doing here, Sherlock? No, seriously, what?

  Sherlock Holmes : I don't know.

  Dr. John Watson : Here to see the Queen?

  Sherlock Holmes : [Mycroft walks in]  Oh, apparently yes.

  [John and Sherlock start laughing] 

  Mycroft Holmes : Just once can you two behave like grown ups?

  Dr. John Watson : We solve crimes, I blog about it, and he forgets his pants. So I wouldn't hold out to too much hope.

• Mycroft Holmes : We are in Buckingham Palace, at the very heart of the British nation. Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers on!

• Mycroft Holmes : My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, yet he elects to be a detective. What might we deduce about his heart?

  Dr. John Watson : I don't know.

  Mycroft Holmes : Neither do I. But initially, he wanted to be a pirate.

• Sherlock Holmes : Look at them. They all care so much. Do you ever wonder if there's something wrong with us?

  Mycroft Holmes : All lives end... all hearts are broken... Caring is not an advantage... Sherlock.

  Sherlock Holmes : [smoking one of Irene's cigarettes]  This is low tar.

  Mycroft Holmes : Well, you barely knew her.

• Mycroft Holmes : [pouring tea]  I'll be mother.

  Sherlock Holmes : And there is a whole childhood in a nutshell.

• Mycroft Holmes : This is a matter of national importance. Grow up!

  Sherlock Holmes : [dressed only in a bedsheet, on which Mycroft is standing]  Get off my sheet!

  Mycroft Holmes : Or what?

  Sherlock Holmes : Or I'll just walk away.

  Mycroft Holmes : I'll let you.

  Dr. John Watson : Boys, please. Not here.

• Sherlock Holmes : Dominatrix...

  Mycroft Holmes : Don't be alarmed. It's to do with sex.

  Sherlock Holmes : Sex doesn't alarm me.

  Mycroft Holmes : How would you know?

• Sherlock Holmes : Smoking indoors. Isn't there one of those... one of those law things?

  Mycroft Holmes : We're in a morgue. There's only so much damage you can do.

• Mycroft Holmes : We can't fool them now. We've lost everything. One fragment of one e-mail and months and years of planning, finished.

  Sherlock Holmes : Your M.O.D. man.

  Mycroft Holmes : That's all it takes. One lonely, naive man, desperate to show off, and a woman clever enough to make him feel special.

  Sherlock Holmes : You should screen your defense people more carefully.

  Mycroft Holmes : I'm not talking about the M.O.D. man, Sherlock, I'm talking about you! A damsel in distress. In the end, are you really so obvious? Because this was textbook. The promise of love, the pain of loss, the joy of redemption. Then give him a puzzle and watch him dance.

• Sherlock Holmes : There you are, brother. I hope the contents make up for any inconvenience I may have caused you tonight.

  Mycroft Holmes : I'm certain they will.

  Sherlock Holmes : If feeling kind, lock her up, otherwise let her go. I doubt she'll survive long without her protection.

  Irene Adler : Are you expecting me to beg?

  Sherlock Holmes : Yes.

  Irene Adler : Please. You're right, I won't even last six months.

  Sherlock Holmes : I'm sorry about dinner.

• Irene Adler : Oh, Jim Moriarty sends his love.

  Mycroft Holmes : Yes, he's been in touch. Seems desperate for my attention, which I'm sure can be arranged.

  Irene Adler : I had all this stuff; never knew what to do with it. Thank God for the consultant criminal. Gave me a lot of advice about how to play the Holmes boys. Do you know what he calls you? The Ice-man... and the Virgin.

• [discussing the break-in that occurred at the home of a dominatrix] 

  Sherlock Holmes : I take it you stood down the police investigation into the shooting at her house?

  Mycroft Holmes : How can we do anything while she has the photographs? Our hands are tied!

  Sherlock Holmes : She'd applaud your choice of words.

• [discussing Irene Adler] 

  Sherlock Holmes : There's nothing you can do and nothing she will do, as far as I can see.

  Mycroft Holmes : I can put maximum surveillance on her.

  Sherlock Holmes : Why bother? You can follow her on Twitter. I believe her user name is "The Whip Hand".

• Sherlock Holmes : I'll need some equipment, of course.

  Mycroft Holmes : Anything you require, I'll have it sent over.

  Sherlock Holmes : [to the Equrry]  Can I have a box of matches?

  The Equerry : I'm sorry?

  Sherlock Holmes : Or your cigarette lighter, either will do.

  The Equerry : I don't smoke.

  Sherlock Holmes : No, I know *you* don't, but your employer does.

  The Equerry : [hesitates, then hands over the lighter]  We have kept a lot of people successfully in the dark about this little fact, Mr. Holmes.

  The Equerry : I'm not the Commonwealth.

  Dr. John Watson : And that's as modest as he gets. Pleasure to meet you.

• Dr. John Watson : You don't trust your own Secret Service?

  Mycroft Holmes : Naturally not. They all spy on people for money.

• Sherlock Holmes : [Sherlock, Mycroft, Watson and Harry are in Buckingham Palace. Sherlock is covered only by a bedsheet]  Mycroft, I don't do anonymous clients. I'm used to mystery at one end of my cases, both ends is too much work. Good morning.

  [He walks away. Mycroft steps on his bedsheet, nearly revealing Sherlock's nakedness] 

  Mycroft Holmes : This is a matter of national importance. Grow up!

  Sherlock Holmes : Get off my sheet!

  Mycroft Holmes : Or what?

  Sherlock Holmes : Or I'll just walk away.

  Mycroft Holmes : I'll let you.

  Dr. John Watson : Boys, not here, please.

  Sherlock Holmes : WHO IS MY CLIENT?

  Mycroft Holmes : Take a look at where you're standing and make a deduction. You are to be engaged by the highest in the land. Now, for God's sake, put your clothes on!

• Mycroft Holmes : Bond Air is go.

• Mycroft Holmes : We are in Buckingham Palace, the very heart of the British nation. Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers on!