Community (TV Series)

For a Few Paintballs More (2011)

Chevy Chase: Pierce Hawthorne

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dean Spreck : I'm so glad that we didn't shoot you. Now we have the advantage of knowing that Jeff Winger wants to be a ballerina and that his Achilles heel is..."wieners."

  Pierce Hawthorne : That's just the tip of the iceberg. For one more pudding, ill tell you why he's jealous of me.

  Dean Spreck : They kicked you out of study group after two years?

  Pierce Hawthorne : Yeah.

  Dean Spreck : What took them so long?

• City College Storm Trooper : Sir, this guy tried to charge us three paintballs to use the bathroom. We were gonna shoot him, but tell him what you told us.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Don't shoot me.

  Dean Spreck : Great. Now shoot him.

• Storm Trooper #6 : [paintball gun fires]  We win!

  Storm Trooper #7 : We win!

  [crowd groans] 

  Storm Trooper #6 : Yes.

  [laughing] 

  Storm Trooper #6 : Ha, ha, ha.

  Storm Trooper #7 : All right!

  Storm Trooper #6 : Way to shoot!

  Pierce Hawthorne : [dressed as a Storm Trooper]  All right, we did it.

  Storm Trooper #6 : Yeah, way to go.

  [laughs] 

  Storm Trooper #7 : Yes. Who are you?

  Pierce Hawthorne : Your mother's lover.

  Storm Trooper #6 : Unh! What?

  Storm Trooper #7 : What?

  Storm Trooper #6 : That's low. Oh, man.

  Pierce Hawthorne : [removes mask]  I win!

  [crowd laughing and gasping] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : You owe me a hundred G's. And you can make the check out... to Greendale.

• Pierce Hawthorne : Just came back for my day planner. Pretend I'm not even here. You guys are great at that.

  Britta Perry : Come on, Pierce. We all know there is no day planner.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Here it is. Now, if you'll excuse me, it appears I'm running late to drink a bottle of wine in my bathing suit.

  Jeff Winger : Pierce, wait.

  [Pierce clears throat] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : You know, I've been coming to this school for 12 years? I've never been friends with anyone here more than a semester. Probably for the same reason I've been married seven times.

  [soft chuckle] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : I guess I assume, eventually, I'll be rejected. So I, you know, test people, push them, until they prove me right. It's a sickness. I admit it. But this place has always accepted me, sickness and all. This place accepted all of you, sickness and all. It's worth thinking about.

  Jeff Winger : Um, I think we have thought about it, Pierce, and you're right. And we were just picking a class we could all be in this fall. And we'd love for you to join us.

  Pierce Hawthorne : No, thanks. I'm done with you guys. I like this school, but I'm done with whatever you call this. Adiós.

  Troy Barnes : He was my ride.

  Annie Edison : I'm going after him.

  Britta Perry : No, he's just acting out. I've seen this behavior before. In cats. My... my cats.

  Jeff Winger : It's true. And now he'll come slinking back in five, four, three, two...