Outsourced (TV Series)
Rajiv Ties the Baraat (2011)
Diedrich Bader: Charlie Davies
Quotes
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Charlie Davies : Todd, we've got a problem. I'm having a hard time finding a stripper for the bachelor party. For a country with so much unintentional third-world nudity, you'd think it'd be easy.
Todd Dempsy : Yeah, I haven't had any luck, either. No one even knows what a bachelor party is.
Charlie Davies : Tell me about it. There's no place to buy offensive crap around here. If someone opened a Spencer's Gifts, they'd make a killing.
[takes digital recorder out of his pocket]
Charlie Davies : Another million-dollar idea: Spencer's Gifts Mumbai.
Todd Dempsy : I didn't want to do this, but I'm going to call the office.
[takes out cell and calls the office]
Pinky : Mid-America Novelties, how may I help you?
Todd Dempsy : Hey, Pinky, it's Todd.
Pinky : Hello, Todd. How may I assist you with your order?
Todd Dempsy : It's Todd, your boss.
Pinky : Oh, very good, Mr. Yorboss. How may I assist you with your order?
Todd Dempsy : No, Pinky. Todd Dempsy, the guy who runs the call center. *Your* boss.
Pinky : Oh!
Todd Dempsy : Look, I need you to do me a favor. I'm at Rajiv's wedding. I need you to go in the back of the supply closet and bring me all the novelties on the top shelf.
Pinky : But you told us never to go in there. That's the dirty shelf.
Todd Dempsy : I know and I'm sorry to ask you to do this, but it's for Rajiv.
Pinky : It is okay. I go in there when everyone's at lunch.
Todd Dempsy : I don't need to know that.
Pinky : Todd... I've learned things.
Todd Dempsy : [uncomfortably] Goodbye.
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[at Rajiv's bachelor party, there is a knock at the door]
Charlie Davies : That's gotta be the stripper or my club sandwich is here. Either way, I'm undoing my belt.
Todd Dempsy : Wait, you got a stripper, too.
Charlie Davies : Yeah, I thought your cyber thing might be a bust, so I took matters into my own hands. Gentlemen and Pinky, please welcome to the main stage the woman I met outside the hotel who's willing to take off her clothes for a reasonable price: Kami Sutra!
[the stripper enters]
Rajiv Gidwani : You idiot! Charlie, she's hijra!
Charlie Davies : What's a hijra?
Gupta : I think you refer to them as transgender.
Charlie Davies : That explains how I got her for a reasonable price. Or, wait... should she cost double? Half? Deal's a deal. Showtime!