Family Guy (TV Series)

Friends of Peter G. (2011)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Dr. Elmer Hartman, Seagull #1

Photos 

Quotes 

• Greg : My name is Greg, and, uh, I'm an alcoholic. One fateful night, I, uh, got behind the wheel of my brand new sports car, blind drunk. I was responsible for the death on an innocent, 8-year-old girl.

  Peter Griffin : What kind?

  Greg : What?

  Peter Griffin : What kind of car? You said you had a sports car. That's cool, but what kind?

  Greg : It was a Miata.

  Peter Griffin : Oh, come on! That's not a sports car. H-how does that even kill a kid? What-cha what-cha do, hit her over the head with it?

  Greg : That's a legitimate sports car!

  Peter Griffin : No. Next!

• Brian Griffin : This sucks! I can't believe that judge is making us go to a month of AA.

  Lois Griffin : You know, if you ask me, this is going to be a good thing for both of you. There's a lesson you need to learn.

  Brian Griffin : What are you talking about? What lesson? I don't need to go to AA. I'm a social drinker, not an alcoholic.

  Stewie Griffin : Pshaw! Yeah, that's like saying rappers are really poets.

• Lois Griffin : Oh, there you boys are. How was your meeting?

  Brian Griffin : 29 more and we're done, That's how it was.

  Lois Griffin : Well, that doesn't sound like the right attitude.

  Peter Griffin : Lois, you weren't there. It was awful! Just a bunch of losers telling boring stories: "My drinking ruined my marriage," "My drinking ruined my family," "My drinking ruined my TV show, '24.'"

• Brian Griffin : Ah, good. It's starting.

  Peter Griffin : Yeah, that's what YOU say. I can never figure out when the hell the studio logos end and the actual movie begins.

  [20th Century Fox logo plays] 

  Peter Griffin : Alright. Let's see what you got, Fox.

  [map pops out from under the water on the screen] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, I bet that's a sea monster.

  [revealed to be logo for Underwater Map Productions] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, that's not the movie. That's... yeah, I think I've heard of them.

  [Once Upon a Time... shows up on screen] 

  Peter Griffin : Here we go. Movie!

  ["STUDIOS" shows up from under the caption] 

  Peter Griffin : Well, now that seems intentionally misleading.

  [airplane comes up on screen] 

  Peter Griffin : Alright, someone's coming to town!

  [revealed to be logo for Arriving Flight Productions] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, for crying out loud!

  [image of India shown with the caption "India, 1853"] 

  Peter Griffin : Alright, a period movie.

  [zooms out to show that it's the logo for Country-and-Date Productions] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, not a period movie.

  [guy on screen runs into a house in a thunderstorm] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, this guy's in trouble. Can't wait to hear his story.

  [flashes and tints into black and white on-screen to show that it's the logo for Panting Man's Wounded Shoulder Films] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, COME ON!

• Death : You members of the human race have the power to send a man to the moon and make Justin Long a movie star. With that kind of willpower, don't you think you can learn how to put the bottle down, just sometimes?

  Peter Griffin : We did it with Justin Long, didn't we? America said no but we kept at it!

• Peter Griffin : [drunk]  Hey, CatDog! Right? You're a CatDog!

  [singing] 

  Peter Griffin : CatDog, CatDoooog,

  [gibberish] 

  Peter Griffin : CatDog!

  [talking] 

  Peter Griffin : Hey, where- y'know, where does all the poop go? When a cat, i- in, in the CatDog when the cat poops, what does it, come out of the dog's mouth? Or vice versa? Oh God, that's, that's some kind of livin' Hell! That's some kind of livin' Hell, Brian!