User Reviews

I am almost sorry to say that I was able to watch the World Premiere of this bizarre flick on SyFy last night. Where to begin? The preposterous plot? The God-awful CGI? The stomach churning "acting" of the two, uh, "stars"? We'll go right to the uh, stars.

Tiffany has not aged well, to say the least. At best, she looks like a middle-aged housefrau with enormous boobs that are threatening to unleash themselves from their captivity at any given moment. Normally, this would add an element of titillation (pun intended) to the proceedings but, in this case, the thought of those two over-sized melons flopping around on the screen was almost as horrifying as her acting.

Debbie, (oops!) DEBORAH, on the other hand, is so thin she looks as if a good wind would blow her right into the swamp. She looks downright anorexic. It's not funny, it's true. Also, her nose is so strangely shaped that I could not focus on anything else. That odd proboscis commands total attention anytime it is on screen. It should be named Olivier. I can't take my eyes off of it. It's hypnotic. The fact that she delivers all of her lines looking straight into the camera further enhances the raw, scenery-chewing power of that nose.

All in all, another ridiculous entry from The Asylum. All of this said, I get the joke and since I love bad movies I must admit that it's nice to escape from reality sometimes and watch something so outrageous and nonsensical. I give it a solid 2/10.

What should you expect from a title such as "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid"?

This is clearly not going to be a poignant exploration of the coming - of-age struggles facing a herpetologist, contrasted with the inner conflict of a widowed before even having the wedding game warden.

This movie is clearly a "Bad SciFi" production (as opposed to "Good SciFi" that does attempt to be cinematically relevant). However, the sheer level of badness makes it an enjoyable watch. How many other movies can give you the opportunity to shout at the screen "Oh, come ON!!!" as many times as MP vs G? Both Tiffany and Debbie Gibson recognize their own shortcomings as actors, and revel in them, as seen in the commercial insets.

Yes, the CGI ranges from bad to awful, but it is all the more fun because of it. Yes, the underlying science is unbelievable, but it hearkens back to the classic "B" movie formula of human actions affecting animals. Yes, you tend to laugh at the on-screen deaths rather than feel loss (Except for Kathryn Joosten, why, oh why did you have to eat Mrs. Landingham?!?!), but the debate afterward of eaten by gator or bitten in half by snake head was worth it. Yes, it is two hours you can't get back in your life, but you knew that when you started watching.

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is exactly what it appears to be. It makes no pretense that it is a great film, and the viewer should not demand that it tries.

Our two leads:

80's redhead lip-syncer, Tiffany has blossomed, (with bosoms), and she ain't shy too show them. Slightly rubenesque , but still attractive, i.e. As of this release, she has aged well.

80's Girl-next door, ephemeral girl-teen-idol Debbie Gibson, looking like the 1st white poster-child for Ethiopia, is so boney gangly it appears her skeleton has other ideas than being her support system. Things is with a nose job, and a pizza, she'd be pretty cute.

Premise: Too many people-eating snakes in the everglades! So cleavage Ranger Tiffany has this brilliant idea to stuff raw chickens with experimental growth hormones to feed to the alligators so they will grow big enough to eat the snakes. (Why they didn't feed them to the snakes natural enemy- the mongoose, is a mystery to me). Of course the plan backfires as the alligators grow to the size of whales, and the snakes as long as a football field(I guess the snakes got some of that grow-juice too?) Well these two species sort of team-up to eat humans and cause general mayhem and destruction in Miami.

Mickey Dolenz ( of the Monkees fame) looking a little creepy, is the cameo VIP host for the fund raiser the clueless Ranger insists must occur so that the glades can survive. OF course the mascot for the ceremony is a MONKEY ( or should I write MONKEE).

But trouble is-a-brewing... (hiss)

The writers seem to have thought it would be funny to play the supposed real-life feud between Gibson and Tiffany into this film. They yell at each other a lot- you see Debbie's some sort of a nature doctor who wants the animals to be left alone as she believes that natural order of things is to let people get eaten by snakes, so she organizes a protest in front of Ranger Tiffany's headquarters. Even though the ranger's fiancé had just been eaten by a snake, Debbie cruelly tells Tiffany it we HER fault he died.

Debbie discovers incriminating evidence that the Ranger had caused this growth phenomena. So she crashes the fund-raiser to threaten the ranger with going public with it. What ensues is the BEST part of the movie as these two erstwhile pop teens have one crazy-ass cat fight with slapping, wrestling, and even a pie fight,that eventually ends in the glade swamp, but not before Tiffany delivers the money-line "Only In Your Dreams" when Debbie touts to Tiffany of the thrashing she is about to receive.

While they are writhing in the swamp, of course the snakes and gators are eating all of the rich guests and before Mickey can sing one Monkees classic (they probably couldn't afford the licensing) a snake swallows him hole. Apparently, rich people are some gun toting folks as every guest had one to fire, to no avail, at the giant reptiles.

On the topic of the critters- they have been computer-rendered on the level of PS-2 game.

I wont spoil the ending, but I'll say it involves TNT and crop dusting, and of course the best cleavage (or should I say breast cleavage) as I swear a couple of times I thought they were gonna fall out.

Enjoy!

(5 stars for obvious tung&cheek approach)

This movie was horrendous. From what porn studio did the director take these two idiots? The dialogue- beyond stupid. The effects... not really surprising coming from a SyFy production still... you see, how hard could it be to find some good blood-like liquid and not this stupid red paint they use in these crappy movies? Badly computer-generated python and gator... and two awful details that cannot be forgiven... why does one of the guys that get killed appear later like nothing, and since when the Everglades have mountains and caves?

I saw Supergator earlier which, of course, was also a pretty bad movie, but at least the sequence of event were bearable. MP vs G was utter rubbish, it is not even recyclable...

It's so awful that you have to see it....two washed up and out 80's has beens trying to act.....

A Martinez is horrible as always - you looking old dude!

Tiffany....hope the check cleared for the soundtrack - don't act anymore

Debbie - totally bad....even for your inability to act your way out of a wet paper bag

****SPOILER*** Mickey Dolenz - best death scene in a bad movie in a long time

the acting is bad, the script is horrible....and you have to watch it to see just how bad a bad movie can be.....

SPOILER ALERT!!

All I can say is does anyone remember in the 80's we always used to wonder who would win a fight between Debbie Gibson & Tiffany? Well... I guess now we know. And as for Mickey Dolenz being eaten... Words fail me!

It's in the usual Syfy channel Sunday movie style I guess - pretty bad but occasionally unintentionally funny. Probably a good thing to watch if you are at all interested in how not to make a film, or care about what washed-up 80's pop princesses are doing now... Although I will admit, they do both scrub up well...!

Watch at your own risk!!!

Wow so Megapython vs. Gatoriod. All i can say is that its the greatest movie ever LOL. This has it all:

-hot scientists who think they know what they're doing but really don't

-terrible graphics and dialogue

-lots of guns

-no plot

-weird ass name for title

-explosion at the end that solves everything

-girl fight in water

and best of all -person hosting something that you know will get everyone kill denies problem or won't listen

Oh and by the way, Gatoriod sounds a lot like Gatorade. Just pointing that out.

However, the main character guy didn't get the girl at the end. Wow very original. Nice one guys. But why didn't he? because he's a nobody? No, because once all the crocodiles and snakes are blown up from the explosion there happens to be just one snake head, yes just the head that eats her and then dies. And this is possible because it is backed up from an earlier scene when one of the scientists says that a snake's head can still survive for a short period of time without it's body. Makes total sense.

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid starts in the Florida Everglades where animal rights activist & environmentalist Dr. Nikki Riley (Debbie Gibson) releases several large Python she had earlier freed from a scientific research laboratory. Park ranger Terry O'Hara (Tiffany) has seen a sharp decrease in the local Alligator population & soon discovers that the huge Python's have been killing them, Terry issues hunting permits to kill the Python's & restore natures balance but her fiancé Justin (Carey Van Dyke) is attacked & killed by one of the giant Snake's which upsets Terry, a lot. Angry Terry injects some dead Chicken meat with experimental growth hormones & feeds it to some Alligator's who grow to an enormous size, Terry feels the giant Alligator's will the giant Python's but instead the giant Alligaotr's & giant Python's just decide to kill anything & everything. Terry & Nikki have to work together to defeat the monster sized reptiles.

Directed by Mary Lambert this is another vs. creature feature film made by The Asylum for the Sy Fy Channel, having already endured Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus (2009) & Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010) I thought I was prepared for anything but the level at which Mega Python vs. Gatoroid sucks at even surprised me. Now, there are some filmmakers that have a bad reputation & if their name is attached to a film then beware but The Asylum is fast becoming the studio to avoid, have they ever made a half decent film let alone a good one? They don't care, they are rip-off merchants who come up with great titles & package their films in boxes with cool artwork but the films themselves are always total crap, just like Mega Python vs. Gatoroid in fact. This is not a film, it's an absolute mess of bad CGI computer effects, hilariously bad acting, wretched character's & awful dialogue along with a totally random plot that makes no coherent sense or logic whatsoever. Don't give me the 'it's so bad it's good' clichéd crap either as Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is anything but good or fun. Sure, it moves along like a rocket & it has it's fair share of laughs with some unintentionally hilarious CGI & dialogue but when all said & done Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is painful to watch. There's no great reason as to why the Python's change from normal sized ones when Nikki releases them to huge monsters a day or so later & why the Alligator's end up huge is also stupid with Tiffany feeding them Chicken full of something or other that some guy gave her in one of the dumbest plans ever conceived in a film as Tiffany decides to create huge killer Alligator's to kill the huge killer Python's but obviously didn't think her plan through. Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is full of the dumbest scenes you can imagine, scenes that make no sense & will leave you amazed by their stupidness. Then, at the end the powers that be decide to honour the two women who released dozens of giant killer reptiles that caused the death's of countless people by naming a park after them! This film is just head shakingly bad from start to finish, it seems to have been written as they were filming & is truly a disaster from start to finish.

Aren't CGI computer effects supposed to get better over time? Aren't they supposed to evolve? As far as these crappy creature feature films go they seem to be getting worse, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid features some of the worst CGI computer effects I have ever seen, they are embarrassingly bad. They are awful. There are a few 80's pop song references with nice ones for 'I Think We're Alone Now' & 'Only in My Dreams' & some of one-liners between Tiffany & Debbie Gibson is amusing as is the cat-fight the two have but the films still crap. There's a bit of gore but not much, there's a dead body with it's limbs severed, a severed head & some blood splatter but not much else. The editing is also horrible although the badly timed & rendered CGI doesn't exactly help make the action & certain scenes seamless.

Although set in the Florida Everglades this was filmed in Los Angeles, as cheaply as possible. This is just awful filmmaking, everything is amateurish & badly done. The two 80's pop stars Tiffany & Debbie Gibson are game & give it their best but so what? The rest of the cast are stuck with awful dialogue & basically suck.

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is a terrible film, sure it's trying to be fun & maybe even slightly bad on purpose but blimey, this bad? A really boring & inept waste of 87 minutes, the type of film that gives even crappy Sy Fy Channel creature features a bad name. A great title, a fun sounding plot & great artwork on the box is all fine but the actual film is horrendously bad.

The Asylum is well-known for making low-budget sci-fi movies, some of which are rip-offs of famous high-budget films. It scored big with it's greatest hit "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus" and then the sequel came around. And then we have this piece of crap: Mega Python vs Gatoroid. Now, I have to admit that the idea has good potential, making a movie based on the current turf war that's going on in the Everglades between the native alligators and invasive pythons. With this, I give this movie credit. But they screwed it all up with the rest.

Led by the 80s pop star Deborah Gibson, environmental extremists release a bunch of captive pythons into the Everglades and somehow they become the size of anacondas. In retaliation, the other 80s pop star Tiffany feeds local alligators growth hormone-induced meat and soon the reptiles become huge. The war begins as the animals feed on each other and soon both species get even bigger, a recipe for disaster like this movie. Soon they team up against humanity and our heroes must stop them. Whoopedy doo.

This film is an epic fail. Terrible dialogue, terrible story, terrible characters. There's barely any fighting between the animals in the first half of the movie and all of a sudden they team up. WHAT!? They're defying the "Versus" part of the title! The only fight that appeals to people is the cat fight between Debbie and Tiffany, which is pretty much the only good part. There's tons of stupid moments, none of which work into this movie's favor like a python flying in the air after it bites into a blimp with the Asylum's logo on it. Even more unbelievable is that they killed off both pop stars with the animals they ironically were trying to protect.

This was a mess, but at least it beats "Watchmen" and "The Butterfly Effect". Want some dumb, low-budget monster fun? Go right ahead and see it. Don't say I didn't give you a heads up.

This terrible creatures-on-the-loose tv movie stars Debbie Gibson and Tiffany, which, if you're a fossil like me, you recall were pop stars back in the 1980s. They were also pop rivals, vying for adulation from young girls with awful taste in music. Some genius figured, why not put these two used-to-be hotties on screen and let the cat fight commence?

The story is Debbie is an ecoterrorist, steals a bunch of snakes in captivity, including giant pythons, and releases them into the Florida Everglades "where they should be". The snakes start killing all the alligators.

Tiffany plays the local sheriff and at first green-lights hunters killing the snakes to deal with the problem, however, for some reason never explained, the snakes are extremely giant-sized (from eating the gators?). Her fiancé investigates as well and he gets chomped and Tiffany completely loses it. She goes rogue, and decides to feed steroids to the alligators so they can fight back.

Fast forward about six months. Unfortunately, in a terrifically awful "Food of the Gods" twist, and reflecting a complete misunderstanding of animal biology, the snakes were eating some of the alligator eggs and this somehow makes them extra, super duper giant-sized. Now there are roided-out giant gators fighting roided-out giant snakes and everything really starts to go to hell really quick. All played out in terrible green screen and stunning Walmart bin computer effects.

While reptilian Armageddon is playing out, Debbie and Tiffany can't stop cat-fighting long enough to realize the danger. Yet their rivalry is one of many missed opportunities, as its lukewarm at best. While this is a self-aware B movie, it doesn't take the big risks. It's just too formula and tame.

Eventually, Diego, a herpetologist, shows up as the proverbial voice of reason. Diego is played by A Martinez and actually has something resembling an acting career. Why he bothered with this lizard-brained bomb is anyone's guess.

Diego stumbles upon a clutch of eggs - hundreds of them - and blows them up with dynamite. But it's not nearly enough as he soon finds a cave with THOUSANDS of eggs. Finally the problem reaches the "too big to ignore" stage, so Debbie and Tiffany put aside their play-slapping and the trio join forces to end the threat.

Now let's address an important topic: there's no denying these two gals pitched many a young boy's pants-tent back in the '80s so of course I have to comment on whether this is still the case. Debbie Gibson does not look good, let's just get that right out there. Not at all. In fact, she looks eating disorder bad. Her ribs and sternum are on full display and her face is disturbingly gaunt. She looks sinewy. She's so thin her head looks huge. I was shocked to learn she's only 40 in this flick as she easily looks in her mid 50s. She hopped on the aging Gen-X 2010s craze of exercising and starving yourself into a wafey piece of cosmetically-corrected beef jerky.

Tiffany, well, she used to look like the girl next door but now she's sporting a very generic soccer mom look with two many color treatments and too much stripper makeup. She's put on some weight since showing us the goods in Playboy nine years earlier in 2002, and it's inflated her already ample boobage into the real giant monsters of this trainwreck. They should have titled this "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid vs. Bazoom-inator. What a tremendous rack, bigger than her career ever was, and sadly we don't even get a peek.

No question, though, if I had to choose, Tiffany all the way. Not only would she not criticize you if you pulled up to the Taco Bell drive-thru, she could order without looking at the menu. Debbie is so skinny the only thing she'd be good for is retrieving your car keys if they fell behind the refrigerator.

This TV movie was done by SyFy and predates Sharknado by a couple years. I think they were still getting their footing with this one because it lacks nearly all the same stupid fun. The problem is that if you're going to do B movie trash, especially if it's self-aware, by god you've got to go all the way. And this just doesn't. The humor is phoned in. The ridiculous deaths aren't that ridiculous. The gore is way too tame. There's no skin. Tiffany and Debbie are at best quarrelsome, and should have been pulling hair out by the fistful, keying each other's cars, stealing each other's boyfriends, dating each other's sons and burning each others cassette tapes in the fireplace as they plot revenge.

It's just a watered down B movie in every way and I can't recommend it.