- Gabe Duncan: Charlie asked for a milkshake, so like a good big brother, I decided to make one. Then she forgot to put the top on the blender.
- Amy Duncan: So, you put your baby sister in charge of an electrical appliance?
- Gabe Duncan: And she let me down.
- Teddy Duncan: [At the grocery store] Soda and mints? What are these for?
- Gabe Duncan: I'm gonna make a soda geyser. You drop them into the bottle and it makes this huge explosion!
- Teddy Duncan: Wow! That sounds so cool. Put them back.
- Hugo: [to his employee after Charlie inadvertently 'steals' a pair of sunglasses] Tell Alice to call the police.
- Teddy Duncan: What? The police? You're arresting a baby?
- Hugo: Or a very small person. We don't have all the facts yet.
- Amy Duncan: [Grounding Gabe] No TV, no computer, no video games for the rest of the day.
- Teddy Duncan: I think that's fair.
- Amy Duncan: And you're watching him.
- Teddy Duncan: That's so unfair!
- Teddy Duncan: Where have I heard that before?
- Alice: Heard what?
- Teddy Duncan: The
- [wheezes]
- Alice: In French class.
- Teddy Duncan: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! You're Alice Wheezeheimer.
- Alice: It's Wartheimer.
- Teddy Duncan: It is? Are you sure?
- Alice: Is that what people call me behind my back? Wheezeheimer?
- Teddy Duncan: [pauses] No, not at all. Nobody calls you Wheezeheimer. Or Wheezy.
- Teddy Duncan: [about Hugo] The guy's treating you like a doormat.
- Alice: And that's bad?
- Teddy Duncan: Yes. OK, you have to stand up and say: 'You can't mess with me! I'm Alice Wheezeheimer!'
- Alice: Wartheimer!
- Teddy Duncan: That's the fire I'm looking for, Wheezy - I mean, Warty!
- Bob Duncan: Look. Guys, I gave you a shot, but I can't use any of these songs.
- PJ Duncan: Why not?
- Bob Duncan: Well, because... they're not - what's the word - good!
- Teddy Duncan: Gabe, we gotta get out of here.
- Gabe Duncan: Really? You're giving me permission to be bad?
- Teddy Duncan: Yes.
- Gabe Duncan: How bad?
- Teddy Duncan: Do whatever it takes.
- Gabe Duncan: I've been waiting to hear those words my whole life!