Community (TV Series)
A Fistful of Paintballs (2011)
Joel McHale: Jeff Winger
Photos
Quotes
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Señor Chang : Man, Math Club has gotten a lot better since last year.
Jeff Winger : Obviously they were practicing while the rest of us went on dates!
Señor Chang : Hold on, I have a plan. Math Club!
Math Club Leader : Yeah?
Señor Chang : I'm Asian. You guys Asian?
Math Club Leader : That's pretty racist man!
Señor Chang : That wasn't a no. I'm coming over. Don't shoot me, shoot him. He's white and he's out of ammo.
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Troy Barnes : [Dean hands the keys to Troy who opens the closet to see tons and tons of paintballs] Now this is more like it.
Jeff Winger : OK, Black Rider. Now let's see who's attractive.
Troy Barnes : Dude, you have a problem.
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Jeff Winger : I'm not risking my butt hauling ammo back for the guy who has Vicki dancing for twinkies.
Pierce Hawthorne : She's a dance major, Jeff. She loves twinkies.
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Pierce Hawthorne : Ah, my study group. How long has it been?
Abed Nadir : 5 hours?
Pierce Hawthorne : Too long. Welcome to Fort Hawthorne.
Annie Edison : How is this even possible?
Pierce Hawthorne : It began with a dream, Annie. A dream and an impulse to hide in the men's room. I found that people were willing to roll bullets underneath the door just for the right to take a dump. By the way, for you guys, taking a dump's on the house. Or if you prefer, relax and catch a show.
[He motions toward Vicki, who is standing on a table, dancing]
Jeff Winger : This is insane.
Pierce Hawthorne : Don't worry, Jeff. I've also got someone more your speed.
[He motions toward Garrett, who is standing on a table, dancing]
Leonard : Because you're gay.
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Jeff Winger : Black Rider, it's Jeff Winger! I know you've heard of me by now.
Black Rider : No.
Jeff Winger : He's lying.
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Jeff Winger : What have you heard about Pierce?
Annie Edison : I hear he's still alive, holed up near the cafeteria.
Jeff Winger : Well, I hear he has more paint than a French kindergarten.
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Jeff Winger : You think Pierce has? Annie, let's not rehash this. The guy's been a jerk all year.
Annie Edison : He's a jerk because we exclude him.
Jeff Winger : We exclude him because he's a jerk. And the last time I checked, you were the last one feeling sorry about it.
Annie Edison : I guess I'm still waiting for you guys to come around.
Jeff Winger : Likewise.
