- Finn Hudson: Hi. Thank you. Best man... Right, uh... Well, I wanna propose a toast to my mom, who is so awesome. I mean, somehow without one in the house, you taught me what it means to be a man. In Glee Club, uh, whenever two of us got together, we got a nickname. Rachel and I are Finchel. Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry. And today, a new union was formed: Furt.
- [the audience laughs]
- Finn Hudson: You and me, man... we're brothers from another mother. And, quite frankly, no one else has shown me as much as you about what it means to be a man. And over the past few weeks, I've... some stuff's gone down, and I haven't manned up like I should have. From now on, no matter what it's gonna cost me... I've got your back. Okay? Even though it means getting a slushie in the face now and then. You put this wedding together by yourself, Kurt. So as a thank you, I had the Glee Club put together a little number in your honor.
- [walks to the table where Kurt sits]
- Finn Hudson: You're gonna dance this with me, dude.
- Kurt Hummel: [mouthing] No...
- [Finn starts to sing and dance to "Just The Way You Are" with backup from the rest of the Glee Club boys. Many of the guests looks moved and joins them. Finn drags Kurt off his chair, and he looks surprised as he dances with them. Rachel and Mercedes move him towards Finn. The two share a dance and then a hug]
- Tina Cohen-Chang: Kurt, you can't leave.
- Finn Hudson: What the hell, dude? How about you talk with me about this first?
- Kurt Hummel: I'm sorry, Finn, but there's nothing to talk about. Karofsky's coming back tomorrow, so that means I won't be.
- Sam Evans: We can protect you.
- Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Seriously, we can, like, form a perimeter around you like the Secret Service.
- Finn Hudson: Yeah.
- Kurt Hummel: The only thing that can really protect me is what they have at Dalton: a zero tolerance, no bullying policy. It's enforced.
- Kurt Hummel: You know, when you call me "Lady", that's bullying. And it's really hurtful.
- Sue Sylvester: I'm sorry. I thought that was your name. As an apology, I'll allow you to choose from the following nicknames: Gelfling, Porcelain, and Tickle-Me Doughface.
- Kurt Hummel: I guess I'll go with Porcelain.
- Sue Sylvester: Damn. Totally wanted Tickle-Me Doughface.
- Carole Hudson: This is absolutely unacceptable.
- Burt Hummel: This psycho threatens my kid's life, and some school board made up of a bunch of people I've never met tells me there's nothing they can do about it?
- Sue Sylvester: Oh, they could do something about it. They just decided not to. No one reported witnessing him being violent, and there's no way to prove that he threatened you with violence. The school board president issued a verbal warning to Karofsky, and that's where we stand.
- Kurt Hummel: I can't go back to being terrified all the time. I mean, I jump every time a locker slams shut. I... I flinch whenever I turn the corner. I don't feel safe at the school.
- Sue Sylvester: Kids who bully, for the most part, have been bullied themselves. And I for one don't flatter myself that that behavior can change. Now, this kid Karofsky isn't gonna all of a sudden be nice to you, and I won't stand by unable to do anything about it. Effective noon tomorrow, Figgins is back in charge, as I have tendered my resignation as principal in protest. I can't help you behind that desk, but I can be an extra pair of eyes out in those hallways. Someone ought to have your back. Besides, I miss my office. This room smells weird. I can't shake the feeling that I'm inhaling a lot of dead skin.
- Rachel Berry: Look, if something bad happens to Kurt, and we didn't do anything to stop it, we'll never be able to live with ourselves.
- Kurt Hummel: All right, have you guys chosen a...
- [correcting Burt's dance position]
- Kurt Hummel: No. A wedding song?
- Burt Hummel: Uh, yes. We're thinking either "Stairway" or some Bublé.
- Burt Hummel: I'm not really known for having a way with words. Uh... you know, when you're a kid, adults will tell you a lot of things. But one thing they neglect to mention is how... sad life can be. I lost somebody I loved very much. But Kurt, he lost his mom. And that killed me. Well, we got by, but looking back? I... I want to apologize to you, Kurt. What we were living, just... wasn't living. You know that saying that when, uh, God closes a door, he opens a window? Well, sometimes out of nowhere, he'll do you one better and he'll kick a whole wall down. He grabbed me by the shoulders, and he pointed me towards this woman right here. And he said "There she is. Go get her." You're everything, Carole. Words can't describe you. You're everything. And I will love you 'till the day I die.
- Carole Hudson: Oh, hey... I'm lucky. Most women, when they get married, they get one man. I get two. One of you saved me from my wardrobe, the other one just saved me. Kurt, you are an amazing person. I'm not only getting a son, I'm getting a friend. Finn... I know you were resistant at first, but I am so proud of you. I've watched you grow into a man. But I think I'm most proud that you've become a brother to Kurt. We are four people. Becoming a family.
- Will Schuester: The wedding was great, but we have got to get ready for sectionals next week.
- [Kurt enters]
- Will Schuester: Oh, Kurt, good. I want to talk to you about this amazing idea I had for a solo for you at sectionals.
- Kurt Hummel: Can I make an announcement first?
- Will Schuester: Yeah.
- Kurt Hummel: First, I wanted to thank everyone for what you did at my dad's wedding, especially Finn. It's nice to know that I have great friends here, as well as a true brother. Which is why it's so hard for me to leave.
- Quinn Fabray: What do you mean "leave"?
- Kurt Hummel: I'm transferring to Dalton Academy. Immediately. My parents are using the money they saved up for their honeymoon to pay for the tuition.
- Rachel Berry: Ladies, the Kurt Karofsky bullying situation is getting way out of control. Kurt's miserable; he's losing weight, and not in a good way, and he's barely even fighting me for solos anymore.
- Tina Cohen-Chang: We've all been teased, but something about what Karofsky's doing is so much worse.
- Rachel Berry: We're all lucky enough to have boyfriends on the football team. I say we band together and demand that they confront Karofsky.
- Quinn Fabray: Okay, first of all, I'm not dating Sam. And second of all, I think you personally just set the feminist movement back fifty years.
- Rachel Berry: Guys like Karofsky only respond to muscle.
- Quinn Fabray: So we're going to fight violence with violence?
- Rachel Berry: No! Look, I'm not saying that... that they should hit him. What I'm saying is we need to defend Kurt, and there's strength in numbers.
- Tina Cohen-Chang: [to Brittany] I'm confused. Are you and Artie officially dating now?
- Brittany S. Pierce: Deal with it.
- Kurt Hummel: Thank you both for attending the Kurt Hummel Wedding Dance Seminar. Dad, you're going to have to pull off the first dance with Carole. And if Uncle Andy's 40th birthday party was any indication, you're going to need some work.