The Penguins of Madagascar (TV Series)

The Red Squirrel/It's About Time (2010)

Jeff Bennett: Kowalski, Red Squirrel

Quotes 

• Kowalski : [From the future]  Skipper, you've got to stop me!

  Skipper : [Kicks Kowalski in the face]  There, you're stopped.

  Kowalski : Not me me! That me!

  [points to present Kowalski] 

  Kowalski : I've got to destroy the Chronotron!

  Skipper : There's two of you! You are from the future! Tell me, has the Earth become a post-apocalyptic wasteland swarming with irradiated mutants?

  Kowalski : Uh, no.

  Skipper : [Disappointed]  Oh.

• Skipper : Problem solved. Now go invent something that won't destroy the world.

  Private : Like a snow cone machine.

  Rico : Snow cone!

  Kowalski : Snow cone, eh?

  [Cut to New York submerged in snow cone] 

  Skipper : Kowalski! You maniac! You did it! You finally did it!

  Kowalski : Yes, but you've got to admit, these are great snow cones.

  Skipper : Oh, yes. Definitely worth it.

• Skipper : Kowalski, progress report.

  Kowalski : Nearing completion on escape tunnel 15, Skipper.

  Private : Isn't that being overly cautious?

  Skipper : Even better. It's full-blown paranoia!

  Kowalski : No, I mean, we already have 14 escape tunnels. Isn't that enough?

  Skipper : Manfredi and Johnson thought so. What was left of them came back in a manila envelope.

  Kowalski : From Manila, ironically.

  Skipper : There's no such thing as "too paranoid", Private. Remember that and forget you ever heard it.

  Private : Um, I don't think that works the way you think it...

  Skipper : Eyes on the flippers.

• Skipper : Okay, Kowalski, wow me.

  Kowalski : Behold, a portal to times past. The Chronotron!

  Skipper : So, it's a time machine?

  Kowalski : Well, yes.

  Skipper : So why not call it a time machine?

  Kowalski : Sure, yeah. And while we're at it, let's call the Great Wall a fence, the Mona Lisa a doodle, and Albert Einstein Mr. Smartypants. Skipper, I don't think you're seing the big picture. With the Chronotron, we will be able to visit any period in history.

  Skipper : Outstanding! Finally, those hippies can be stopped!

• Kowalski : Think of all the historical figures we'll be able to meet.

  Skipper : Yeah, like... well, I just want to slap a hippie or two. Maybe even make them get jobs.

• Private : You are from the future! Tell me, am I married and living in a cottage in Nova Scottia with one egg and another on the way?

  Kowalski : Um, no.

  Private : [disappointed]  Oh.

• Kowalski : [after Rico stops the time disruption by throwing the Chronotron into it]  But that shouldn't have worked! It breaks all known rules of science!

  Skipper : And that's why we call Rico a maverick. He makes his own rules.

• Skipper : What happened? I thought we mapped this tunnel.

  Kowalski : I'm not sure. This wall shouldn't be...

  [gasps] 

  Kowalski : a vintage pass code lock

  Skipper : Excellent work, Kowalski. But can you open it?

  Kowalski : Well, it is state of the art hyper encryption technology... from 1963. Nailed it

  Skipper : Move in cautiously, men. Rico, ominous background music.

• Skipper : That voice... That steely gaze.

  Rockgut : You sugar puffs gonna stand there? Spill your tater tots. Where's the red squirrel?

  Skipper : The red squirrel. Then you really are... Special agent Buck Rockgut.

  Kowalski : The Buck Rockgut?

  Private : Um, is that - is that some famous, then?

  Private : Sweet ignorant Private, Buck Rockgut is our greatest american penguin hero. I've patterned my whole life after rotgut.

  Kowalski : The bird who brought down penguin enemy number one: The red squirrel and may I say, it is honor, sir.

  Rockgut : 86 the kiss-up, fauntleroy. let's get to brass tacks. I caught the squirrel, all right, but big red broke out, disappeared in the underground. so that's what I did too. 47 years I've been down in this bunker, waiting for the red squirrel to show his fluffy tail again. 47 years.

  Rockgut : 47 years?

  Rockgut : 47 years!

  Private : Do you think the red squirrel would have shown up by now?

  Skipper : Private.

  Rockgut : College boy, huh? You see that bunker door? It only open when the red squirrel returns. Is it open now, dough boy?

  Private : Yes.

  Rockgut : Then red is back and you four lollipops are gonna help me find him.