The Simpsons (TV Series)

Stealing First Base (2010)

Harry Shearer: Principal Skinner, Scratchy

Quotes 

• Principal Skinner : [On a school skit]  I'm Bart Simpson, disruptive fourth grader.

  Homer Simpson : I've finally caught one of Bart's plays.

  Marge Simpson : That's not Bart, that's Principal Skinner. Bart's sitting right next to you.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, now that I look closer, that guy can't fool anybody.

  Principal Skinner : Shut up, fatso.

  Homer Simpson : Why you little...!

  [Runs onstage and strangles Skinner] 

• Principal Skinner : Mr. and Mrs Simpson, these are Brody and Madison McKenna. Their daughter is on Bart's class.

  Brody McKenna : Mr. Simpson, your son engaged in unwanted mouth contact with our daughter.

  Marge Simpson : They kissed?

  Madison McKenna : On the slide.

  Homer Simpson : That's all that happened, and I got to miss a day of work? Thank you!

  Madison McKenna : Mr. Simpson, I'm a high-class lawyer, and my husband is a district attorney, and we're not happy.

  Homer Simpson : Maybe you should get easier jobs.

• Madison McKenna : Unless you make this school an affection-free environment, we'll sue you to the last dime.

  Principal Skinner : [holds up dime]  Here it is.

  Madison McKenna : And we'll make you wish your son was ever born.

  Homer Simpson : Already half way there, lady.

• Bart Simpson : Where's Mrs. K?

  Principal Skinner : Mrs. Krabappel went to Idaho. Turns out the people sent to rescue her sister from a cult turned out to be an even worse cult.

  Bart Simpson : So who's taking her place? Me, I hope.

  Principal Skinner : No, not you. Never you.